Well...DUH!

That's pretty much all you can say about the last paragraph of this article.  For posterity's sake, I'll post it in italics so you don't have to go look if you don't want (don't ever say I wasn't nice).

Analysts in Moscow think what Mr Putin really wants is a commitment from Washington to only deploy a small-scale missile defence system, that would be effective against Iran and North Korea but would not neutralise Russia's nuclear missile force, he adds.

Well, duh...of course that is what he wants.  Why wouldn't he want that?  Why in the bright blue marble of a world that we live on would Mr. Putin WANT a defense system in place that would neutralize his nuclear missile force.  He wants to be able to use them, effectively...just like we want to use ours effectively.  Why would he not protest?

No, I am not on his side...not in the least.  If we have the capabilities to eliminate a threat, then by all means eliminate it.  I'm just saying...me thinks the Mr. Putin doth protest too much, me thinks his truer intentions will be known way too soon.

Some post-Holiday Randomness...

Good holiday overall here...the littles didn't get spoiled with battery operated goo, just some good ol' fashioned games (checkers, connect 4, etc), some puzzles, matchbox cars, crayons, coloring books, notebooks, pencils and S-A-N-T-A brought an EasyBake oven. 

Go on, say what...yes, the screamers are boys...yes, they got an EasyBake...why you ask...well, they asked for it.  And it was really the only thing they asked for.  I take that back, the youngest DID ask for a real magic wand so he could turn his brother into a frog and step on him, but I couldn't find one of those anywhere.  So EasyBake it was.  Totally cool with me though, since I can work on their baking skills without risking the oldest shoving the youngest headfirst into a super-heated stove and visa versa (truthfully the visa versa is what would totally happen here...the youngest is a spitfire).  Looking forward to actually using it, haven't yet 'cause I'm an evil mommy (you just don't know).

On another note, I'm patiently waiting for some of this snow that is supposedly in the area to start showing up.  Jet stream is hooked just above us (literally) and keeping all that fluffy stuff north about 30 miles...30 miles...sigh.  We got just enough on Christmas Day to whiten things up, but it was gone by nightfall.  Unlike so many, I love the stuff...can totally rip up the road in it...and would so much rather have it than just the butt chilling cold we've had.  Give me a reason for the cold (aka snow on the ground) rather just having me freeze my rearend off, if you please.  This freakin' global warming is giving me frostbite! ;P

I hope you lot used the pre-season sales to stock up on some of the baking essentials out there.  Had some pretty decent prices on flour and sugar in these parts (at one point it was $.99 for a 4lb bag of sugar...killer deal for us).  Right now, the pantry is loaded and we're pretty much good to go.  Could use some more powdered milk but we'll survive until the 1st I believe.  Did score some pouch tuna for a little under 1/2 price on the last grocery trip though, with the assistance of a bunch of cent off and bogo coupons...poor cashier just didn't know what hit her.  I used the 'savings' to grab up some pouch salmon and still stayed under budget....which is a really big deal for me since we are now off the food stamps/ebt and going it all on our own.  A step forward, I think.

Which leads me to a whole different kind of rant...we make too much for assistance (not a gripe per se).  Only because the spouse gets chow hall allowance.  That puts us right under the line, by about $30 which isn't worth the red tape I'd have to fight through in order to keep it.  Yup, if it weren't for that, we'd still have the same amount of $$ coming in that was coming in when he was a civie making $8hr.  Scary isn't it?  Oh, yeah...for those that use the "you get benefits" argument...that includes all benefits but health insurance (since I can't really put a price to that one yet...what with the fantabulous healthcare plan that our great leader and his minions will be providing the civilian world with...please note the sarcasm).

Should be an interesting next few months on this continent...just keeping my eyes open for things that "may" impact us (being that we are in a rather interesting position now) will keep me busy.  Top it off with all the stuff that I KNOW (Afghanistan, Iran, Korea, etc) will impact us and well...it makes me want to just not look at the news anywhere...online, on the boob tube, in the paper.  Unfortunately, I can't...it's just not in me to turn a blind eye and live in the dark.

If ya'll don't mind (and I know you don't because it is MY blog after all) I'll likely be ranting, sharing, discussing some school related stuff here.  Seems my "Environmentlism professor" thinks I'm a meat-eating, carbon producing, Earth killing moron...2 outta 3 ain't wrong, but I'm no moron.  Break ends on the 4th with the first real assignment being about Urbanization...yeah, interesting and essential stuff (SARCASM).

Well, that's it folks...out for the day...unless I get a wild hair up my rear and decide to come back later...you've been warned.

Happiest of Holidays

to you and yours. May the coming year see you better off than you are now (in whatever way you wish the most) and bring you a joy that is both loved and unexpected (whatever it may be).




As the storm closes in (you chose which one), I take stock of the supplies and find myself prepared for pert near anything...my hope for the coming year is that you feel and find the same sort of security and peace.



I hope your Winter Solstice was bright, your Chanukah enlightening, your Christmas is merry and your Boxing Day full...Blessings all!

Funny....

just because I adore the Muppets:




And:



And:



And a Classic:



And finally...a little holiday spirit:

Happy Turkey Day

to one and all...enjoy your bird (or pig if that's your thing) and all the trappings. May it settle well, may you enjoy the company you'll be keeping and may this year's harvest be pale in light of next year's (we can hope, right?)!!

A History Lesson...

mixed with an ancestory lesson...for the screamers.

Tonight we were reading a free book we found in the mail (I requested it, it wasn't some random box stuffing) about Thanksgiving and the history of it and such. I flipped through it a few days ago, giggling at how I was going to present it to the screamers...segway to tonight. Picture us all snuggled down in the big bed, blankets securely tucked around the screamers and Mommy sitting between with a paperback....

M (Mommy) "Tonight we're going to read a little about Thanksgiving."

OS (oldest screamer) "Why?"

M "Because that's the book I picked up. Now sit down and listen."

I read a bit, details on why the Pilgrims head over and such. Then the coming over, then the landing and tada the intro to Native Americans.

OS "Is that Pappaw's grandpa?" pointing at a rather unflattering rendering of a man supposed to be Squanto.

M "No, but let me give you another lesson...Mommy's ancestors, people from a long time ago that are part of our family, were like these people" I point to the delicately drawn white woman wrapped in a shawl shivering against the cold "Daddy's ancestors were both these people (again the white woman) and these people (Squanto)."

OS "So we are Natip Amernicans"

M "Yes and no. Not fully."

OS sits back and chews on that for a little while before he interrupts a bit on the Three Sisters (beans, squash and pumpkins for the uninitated). "Momma, where are all the Natip Amernicans?"

Ah, I've been waiting for this one...I really have.

M "You know that green vine we see when we're going to KY...the kudzu?"

OS "Yeah?"

M "Well, the white people were like that vine. They weren't from here, they were transplants. But they grew like that vine. They spread out all willy nilly and just took over everything. They pushed the Natives out or crushed them, just like that vine. The Natives were told that they had to leave and live on a little bit of land...they couldn't stay where their people had always been, couldn't hunt there or plant gardens."

OS sits quietly for a moment before looking up and saying "That wasn't very nice, was it Momma?"

Sigh..."No baby, they weren't."

I think, just maybe, I might be raising a kid that is a deep thinker...lol. Wonder how he would react to the Trail of Tears story (sadistic ain't I?) after all...those were/are his people too. I'm saving the plight of the Irish for later.

Random Update...(and a rant)

Let us begin with the rant, shall we...because I can.

Dear University of Phoenix (more specifically my Academic Advisor and Financial Advisor),

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SCREWING WITH ME!?! You screw up the "paperwork" but as usual it is the little guy that suffers. I want my f'ing Pell Grant and I want it last week. Just so you know, I'll be on the phone with you AGAIN in the morning and every morning until I have the $$ in my account. It should have been there two weeks ago, then again this week...now you are saying December...UNACCEPTABLE. Don't F**K with me...DON'T.

Now that is out of my system...

I have discovered that I really, really dislike doing dishes (could be that's why the Spouse did them). I miss the Spouse, I miss his doing the dishes...sigh. The screamers miss him too of course, especially when Mommy goes all Drill Sgt on their rears (the tone, look and volume work really well for a reason). But hey, I gets results...no toys in the floor as a look around right now. Such good little dirtbags...I mean privates...I mean screamers, yeah, screamers.

The Spouse seems to be enjoying his time in OK for the moment...he's all excited about the intense PT program more than anything else. Whatever floats your boat babe. Since he is a 'student' and not a 'trainee' he gets to chitchat on his pre-paid cell during his free time. But then again, I think that is an AIT thing anyway...not sure. I know it wasn't when he went through the 1st time, but hey things have changed and they got to be all nicey nice now (did you know that BCT enlistees carry around stress cards so the Drills can keep tabs on them...stress cards for crying out loud).

At any rate, we are getting by...biding our time 'til that 1st check comes in and hoping nothing gets cut off (electric, phone, etc) 'til then since University of Phoenix is a bunch of dumb a**es (see above rant).

As to the few that have emailed me about my thoughts on Hood...you've heard back from me. Have nothing to add here except all of the fallen, the wounded and their families are most definitely in my thoughts and prayers.

Been posted before...

and it's out there floating around on the net...but I just gotta put it here. Why? Because I can and I want to...just a little reminder that our heros in uniform are very often followed by heros that aren't.

The Military Wife

The good Lord was creating a model for Military Wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an Angel appeared.

She said, "Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What's wrong with the standard model?"

The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both Mother and Father, be a perfect hostess for four or forty with an hours notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant or has the flu, and she has to have six pair of hands."

The Angel shook her head. "Six pair of hands? No way!"

The Lord continued, "Don't worry; we will make other Military Wives to help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her Husband's achievements, sustain the pain of separation, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired, and be large enough to say "I understand" when she doesn't and "I love you" regardless."

"Lord", said the Angel, touching his arm gently. "Go to bed and get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow."

"I can't stop now", said the Lord. "I am so close to creating something so unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave goodbye to her Husband from a pier, a runway or a depot, and understand why it is important that he leave."

The Angel circled the model of the Military Wife, looked at it closely and sighed. "It looks fine, but it's too soft."

"She may look soft," replied the Lord, "but she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure."

Finally, the Angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord's creation. "There's a leak," she announced. "Something is wrong with the construction. I'm not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to put too much into this model."

The Lord appeared offended at the Angel's lack of confidence.
"What you see is not a leak. It's a tear."

"A tear? What is it there for?" asked the Angel.

The Lord replied, "It's for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and dedication to all the values that she and her Husband hold dear."

"You are a genius!" exclaimed the Angel.

The Lord looked puzzled and replied,
"I didn't put it there."

-~Author Unknown~

At this very moment....

I'm watching something that is more than a little disturbing. I am watching streaming video from NASA as they crash a $79M rocket into the moon...$79M...and that's not really the most disturbing part.

The part that bothers me the most is this: Doesn't the moon affect our planet? Tides, weather? Is it really so vitally important to find water on the moon that you risk screwing up the order of nature and the universe?

I guess so. I hope, beyond hope, that they find what they want without too much damage....but I won't be holding my breath. It could take weeks, months, years to truly see the effects of this little science experiment...disturbing.

Edit to add: Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize

Seriously!? For? Lousy explaination for reasoning in my opinion...it's all based on what he wants to do, not what he's actually done. Again....disturbing.

OMG....

a familiar online/text term...but I'm not using it "that" way tonight. Tonight, OMG stands for Oh My Gallbladder!!

Attack of the great green bile producer! I've been under attack for a few days now, got so bad that at one point I was convinced I was having a heart attack...oy. No, I didn't run to the ER, no insurance would have racked up some serious bills. Besides, it was all brought on by stress over money (I know, I shouldn't stress over paper). Slowly getting better now, at least I can do more than roll on the floor in pain. The liquid diet I've been on has done wonders with the weight loss...7lbs in two days. Not really the way you want it to go, but hey.

All of this of course got me to thinking...what if? Sure my herbals were great help in mixing up some nice teas and muscle relaxing baths, but I had to actually hunt down info on what was going on....online. Of course, WebMD scared the bejesus outta me because it kept popping up with aortic dissection (it's scary, look it up) but never once mentioned gallbladder. That took a little prompting from Mom and Grandma. So now I'm looking at books that are good to have on hand for matching symptoms with issues (taking suggestions, btw). I know, I know...there's the internet, but please let's be honest...do you really, honestly think it's going to last forever? Yeah, me neither.

Off to drink some more tea and maybe, just maybe, eat some crackers.

What I need is....

a miracle...what I need is you!! (whoa, 80's flashback)

Nah, seriously though...I could use something. Front upper and lower ball joints and an exhaust system for a 1989 Honda Civic (base, 4sp...why yes, Momma can drive a stick thank you very much). Anyone got one they want to get rid of? Really, I need 'em...bad. The Honda is parked until we can get her patched which means that Momma and the family is without transport. Well, there is my mother...but do I REALLY want to depend on her for the next bit...nah, didn't think so.

Go get a car, you says? Sure, why not...'cause I don't feel the need to mess with MO laws only to turn around and do it again when we go wherever we are going. Besides, the old girl (aka The Honda...not me) is still kickin' butt on the road. She just needs a little TLC is all. Plus the little red nugget (again, not me) gets something like 35mpg at last figure...I really, really can't beat that.

So, transportationless I be...for a bit. We'll get her patched before the end of November (I hope!!) but I'd love to not have to fork over $500 to do it...I have enough $$ going elsewhere as it is this month and not a bit to spare...sigh.

Commiserate with me?

Spoons, School and a little fun....

Just a quick drop in to let ya know I'm still livin'....albeit with a little less time on my hands for much in the way of bloggin'. That doesn't mean I don't read my usuals or think of you lot...it just means that I forgot how tough some of these college courses can be (hello, 1400 word papers on something I don't really care about every other week) AND top it off with the whole restarting with the edumacationating of the screamers here at home....fun all around!

Really, it is. The oldest is one happy fella and is breezing through a lot of 1st grade work (proud, bragging momma alert). It's been an easier transition back than we thought. Doesn't hurt that the boy is obsessed with all things scientific...so we are focusing on a bit of Nature Studies (i.e. we walk around the woods and momma points out stuff and answers questions).

That is where the 'spoons' part comes in...you might remember that we have a huge amount of persimmon trees around these parts...the oldest decided to snap up about ten of these orange beauties...Momma decided to do a little cutting and guess what? Go on...guess!! Ten spoons, all lined up in a row...Momma's hoping that it holds true and we have a nice, super snowy winter. Heck, with the quick change in weather round here lately (summer to fall in something like 4 hours, lol) I'm thinking this winter is going to be interesting anyway!!

Dear Potosi R-III School District,

Thank you so much for the trauma you have caused. My oldest child was given to you, with much trepidation, to teach. He came to you as an excited and elated five year old boy, eager to learn and happy. He will be leaving you this afternoon as an unhappy, labeled little boy who is no longer excited at the prospect of "going to school in a building."

Congratulations, it took you less than a month to destroy his joy. That is some kind of record, I'm sure.

My apologies for sending you a child that was "very bright" (to quote his teacher) and "academically advanced" (to quote another). I didn't realize that preparing my child and teaching my child was something that would cause trouble. My apologies for sending you a child that is an independent thinker, one that does not depend on adults to defend him and one that is not a (sorry all) sissified pussy that is all touchy feely about others feelings and refuses to moderate his opinions for the sake of others' feelings.

I do thank you for showing me the light...and that I was right. My child is infinately better off where he will be as of this afternoon...home, learning with someone that loves him and bothers to take the time to understand him. Farewell to those that have made this last month one of the sigularly most trying in my young son's life. You jerks.

Madness and Maypops

Wow! It has been an incredibly insane past few weeks…hence the ‘madness’ part. The eldest screamer is now doing pretty well in school; there was a slight adjustment period for everyone naturally. The main one being his teacher (this is only her second year teaching and poor thing got my stubborn, independent do-it-yourselfer who is already bored because they are “learning” things he’s known since he was two) but things are sailing along pretty smooth for the moment.

Eldest screamer is growing up entirely too fast though. Lost his first tooth yesterday and a second is nice and loose. Mrs. Tooth Fairy paid a visit last night…apparently inflation has hit that particular sector too….thank you Mr. Tooth Fairy for that. Anyway, the screamer was squealing happy this a.m. at the money she left him whilst he snored away.

Fun times all around…sigh. We’ve taken to going for a walk every night after dinner. Gives a bit of family time that doesn’t involve the boob tube and let’s me point out some goodies that grow around here. Goodies like Maypops (or passion flowers, depending on where you are and who you are). The hill along the lake is LOADED. Now if I can get too them first this fall when they are ready for picking, I’ll be doing a little playing with jelly and juice! I have some stiff competition in the deer and birds though. I’m curious as to how it will work up, I’m positive I’ll get enough for a couple of jars of jelly. Toss those in with the massive amount of fruit hanging around on the persimmon trees and I may (MAY) just have a busy fall with some wild fruits (no, not my family…though that isn’t far off).

With all the crazy weather (cool, hot, cool, warm, cool), I have the feeling we’re in for one heck of a ride this fall/winter. Don’t think that there will be tons of snow (there might be though) but I’m pretty doggone sure that we’ll be plenty cold for a good long while. Especially since the high around these parts is only supposed to be 70 today. 70, on the last day of August…70. Should be interesting, no?

We still await word on exactly where and when we are headed away from the Ozarks. But I’ve learned to just go with the flow…in the meantime, I continue to slowly pick through the possessions and decide what is worth keeping and what isn’t. I battle the massive packrat gene on a daily basis. Someday, I’ll win.

OCM

No, no…it’s not some abbreviated something or other for text speak. Well, actually it is but it’s not something that flies around like: OMG, WTF and such. OCM is short for Oil Cleansing Method. I figure it would be a good one to throw at you all, being that it is an easy prep thing.

Oil Cleansing Method is a way of cleaning your face…using oil. I heard that gasp, but seriously it works (for most people). Check out the link to the page, meander over to the forums and read about others results. Yes, I use it. Extra Virgin Olive Oil & Grapeseed Oil combo (something like 60/40). I’ve even knocked it up a notch lately with a salt scrub mix. I take my oil combo and add a bit (very little bit) to about a tablespoon of kosher salt and voila…an exfoliating facial that beats anything I’ve gotten at a spa AND it’s way cheaper.

I bring this up because I know (I KNOW) that I’m not the only person in the world with adult acne (ugh, I thought puberty was bad!!) and I know (I KNOW) that a lot of the other options out there are 1.) Expensive, 2.) Not practical for prepping, 3.) A royal, smelly pain in the patootie. With OCM, I can prep what I need right along with the food stuffs. Even better, it’s included with the food preps because if it comes right down to it…I can use my oils and salt for food instead of my face.

Can’t do that with any other face goo, now can I? Plus, the whole thing is pretty darn budget friendly. You don’t use gobs and gobs of oil (I use something like maybe ½ tablespoon); you don’t have to use it every day once you’ve gotten through the initial acclamation phase (every other for me, with the scrub once a week). I’ve had the same jar of mix for over three months and it’s still way over half full (8 oz cleaned jelly jar). Since it’s olive oil based, it will take a good long time for it to go gross (if ever). I spent a whopping $8 on the olive oil, caught the grapeseed on sale for something like $5 and the kosher salt is about $2. So $15 on “beauty” supplies that have lasted me at least 3 months and will last way more.

Now I confess I do still use soap on the face. Good ol’ fashioned lye soap, when I have the odd breakout. Matter of fact, I’m running low on it…hmmm, better hunt down a decent source for that (mental note). All in all though, the OCM has been a good thing for the budget and the skin. Figured it was past time to pass that little tidbit along to you lot…use it for what it’s worth!! (Wow, look at that…an informative post…the world really is ending!!)

Busy, Busy

Little bee. Between my school, prepping for the oldest screamer to start (for a while at least) at the local ant colony, writing out and working up new patterns (knitting, a small obsession), deciding what goes and what stays of the suddenly huge amount of crap we own and the spousal unit’s impending leave…well, I’ve decided that I’m only one woman and while I’m one heck of a woman…I can’t do it all. Dang good thing I took a vacation earlier this year, I guess.

Alas, the job is mine. So I plug away at it…a little at a time. Right now I’m in the list phase. Listing things that are must haves and keeps, then listing the stuff that’s gotta go because…let’s face it, I don’t mind moving but I hate packing. With a fierce and fiery passion…deeply, deeply hate it. Unfortunately, I can’t just dump it all on my sister (though she is a great resource for off loading outgrown screamer clothing) so it calls for a definite think on what should go into the impending yard sale (wait, I don’t have a yard!!). I foresee that the screamers will be sent to visit the grandparents so that I may relieve the house of things that they think are life and death…aka toys. There lies the greatest battle. A battle I shall fight alone.

The spousal unit is primed and ready to go…off to wherever. No, we don’t know yet. He’s having to do the typical military thing and wait. Nothing new there, only this time we wait on the Doc at MEPS to go through his original discharge paperwork and the subsequent workups along with the rest of the goo. Once that’s all settled (and it will be, there’s one tiny piece of paper in there that makes all the rest moot…a letter from the Secretary of the Army that basically says “All clear.”), he gets to go and do all the contract stuff then is gone. The screamers and myself will follow whenever (housing and such, ya know). Which translates to me packing (unless we end up overseas again…I could so live with that) and taking care of all loose ends here. Oh yeah…and I gotta keep up with the screamers and school. Mercy on me!!

I do think that this whole return to military life will be an interesting case study though. How can I work on the being prepared but still keep things mobile enough for easy (or semi-easy) moving? Should be fun to say the least. And a good example of how just about anyone can do it…don’t you think?

The Butternut Chronicles

Have begun! Right this moment, I have something like 8 cups of roasted and scooped butternut squash awaiting attention…and about 10 more squash waiting to be cleaned and roasted. Why me? Because Mom isn’t in canning mode yet…no massive amount of ripe tomatoes to play with.

So, I’ve been playing around with recipes and testing them out on the spousal unit and the screamers. Seems orange is not a color that the screamers enjoy unless it is fall…go figure! Tonight I’ll be messing about with interchanging all of our favorite pumpkin recipes with the butternuts…we shall see how that goes. Personally, I’m loving the different taste so early in the year…I’m sure I’ll be sick to death of them long before the vines die off and stop producing. In the meantime, we have plenty…probably too many (as usual) and they will soon be getting handed off to folks at church.

Not so much with the green beans, peppers and zukes this year. The male parental unit didn’t add any goodies to the ground this year. Which is sad given that they are surrounded by fields FULL of free manure. So the crops suffer. Well, most of them at least. Tomatoes and butternut squash will not be in short supply.

In other news, I’m over my ranting bitchiness concerning familial opinions. I figure that one post griping about how one gets judged worse by family than anyone else is enough. Besides, why bother…I don’t have to have approval…I’m an adult in my own little world and I like it here. No you can’t come in…well, maybe…I’ll talk to the voices and see what they think…lmao!

The next week or two will be a little hairy around here. The spousal unit goes in Thursday to see if that last 1% of body fat is gone, gone, gone. Fingers crossed that it is...I'm so very ready to be away. Not that it matters much, we still have to do the whole housing waiting dance...and you know what the Army creed is..."Hurry up and wait."

So, you lot throw some of your favorite butternut recipes my way...would ya? I know I'll need some inspiration sooner or later!!

Other Impressions (CAUTION: CONTAINS F BOMB)

Apparently, somewhere along the way of growing up...I have left the impression with certain members of my extended family that I am a meek, quiet, unopinionated woman that is sweet and never makes a fuss or uses a curse word...I'm not sure where I went wrong. This impression has been shattered, it seems, by the very blog you are reading now.

Hell, if only I had known...I would have so held on to that fake woman and used her for something...don't know what, but something!

This blog is "nasty and disgusting" to certain members of my family because I "use the f-word for every other word" (for those that don't know the f word is FUCK...see, there...I actually used it instead of friggin' or freakin'...now you have my permission to be offended). Certain member must have followed a link I stuck here somewhere to one of Mayberry's rants, lol.

My apologies to those that actually come here to read and not be critics that find something wrong with everyone and everything...aka those that are not related to me by blood or marriage, with the exception of my brother who occassionally drops in (hey Robear!). When I tell you all that I am the oddball in the family, the 'alien child' as my mother calls me, I am not kidding. I'm not she who falls down in worship in a brick building every Sunday, ruled by a book written and edited by men (yes it was...last time I checked God's name wasn't Moses, David, Solomon or Daniel; it wasn't even King James or New International or whatever the popular version is now...and let's not even get into the translation issues) therefore I am my own person with my own set of beliefs that are not any less valid than yours. And should you feel the need to skip on over again, certain family member, please don't bother chatting about this to Grandma...I'm not sure she even knows what a blog is or really cares.

Oh and I don't say fuck every other fucking word...I usually don't say fuck at all because the fucking screamers pick up on it too fucking easy. We prefer to curse in German around here.

Garden Update!!! Just pulled 14 butternut squash free...got bit by something and the leaves made me itchy. Tomatoes are finally starting to turn, so are the pumpkins after last week's cold snap. Should get real interesting around here soon!

First Impressions

On “The Colony”…so far so good. BUT (you knew it was coming) I naturally have a few critiques.

Why the need for electricity ASAP? Personally, I could think of other things that would occupy my mind. I understand the need for light at night, but I think I might have worried more about the fact that there was only enough food for 9 days…just a personal preference and all…that need for feed.

I do have to give them props for making a water filtration system first off, then they improved on it by making it bigger…then (wow, I’m really impressed) they figured out that grabbing rain water was quicker than hauling ass to the river everyday. Impressive, really it was…all in the first couple of days.

As for the players of this little game, no real impressions yet other than on one by the name of Mike. So far he shows promise as a bit of a tyranical, male chauvinistic ass. I could be wrong but when he gains pleasure from the division of chores into man (anything tool related) and woman (anything household related)…well, it kinda rubs me the wrong way. I know, I know…the world is full of them. But seriously, he is a bit of a control freak that’s a bit bitchy…so far. We’ll see as the weeks roll by.

If you aren’t watching it, go ahead and do it. Tuesday nights at 9c on Discovery…we can compare notes. Yes, I’m encouraging brain numbing…but only in the interest of possibly learning something or maybe seeing something that in all of our prepping we may have overlooked. Sure, sure…you got it all covered. I know.

The End is Near!

I know what you're thinking...it sure is!! But I'm not talking about that end, I'm talking the end of my first official semester back in college. Nothings changed since my last go at this...except I'm spending way more time on classes and way less time out all night at the Waffle House. Hey, looks like I may actually accomplish something this time...woohoo!

Next Sunday, I turn in my final projects...thank goodness. Then next Monday, I start a whole new set of classes. Fun ones, like Critical Thinking (aka Debate in an online form)...yay! We know that I can pick a topic and chew it to death if need be. Should be a cinch.

Funny enough, I've got yet another Communications this semester. Please oh mighty school gods let this professor be not quite so anal retentive. Of course, I probably would have been way better in this past one IF I had actually been enrolled on time (school glitch NOT caused by a computer...go figure...human error). But hey, people are stupid. Anyway, I'm all ready for the next set...already gone through the syllabus and have about 1/3 of the homework and junk done already. Just call me an overachiever. hahaha

On to other things...who the hell turned down the thermostat outside?!? Ma Nature dumps a ton of rain on us all spring, then turns up the heat for 11 days straight...now the temp is hovering around the 70 degree mark (if we're lucky). Not really complaining except...damn, it's cold!!

The screamers don't mind, except they can't swim right now (seriously the wind is just way too cold). I don't mind 'cause it keeps those damn biting flies at bay and the spousal unit doesn't mind because he can go for his now daily six mile runs without melting (six miles...damn...with nobody chasing me...um, no).

Ah well, hope you lot have some decent weather...rain when you need it, sun when you want it and cool breezes on your backs while you play in your gardens!

Invasion!!

Ladies and Gentlemen:

A Garden Update

I have been invaded. Well, okay…not me personally but close enough. At my request, butternut squash was added to the garden this year. I bought the seeds, handed them off to the father figure and let him go. Unfortunately, father figure thought that more is best and planted 10 (yes TEN) hills (or whatever you want to call them). At this very moment, there are about 20 butternut squash that are just a few days from picking and probably close to 100 in various stages of growth. Invaded!!

Don’t even get me started on the tomatoes…cucumbers…pumpkins. The first crop of zukes didn’t do to well, only 4 hills survived long enough to bear and of those two are now defunct. Never fear…there is a whole new set (12 hills) that should start bearing soon. Green beans…not so many as last year, but then Pops didn’t put out as many either.

Back at the townhouse:

Six tomato plants, spinach and random leaf lettuces thrive in a big square pot. Two cuke vines hang above…nothing bearing anything…except the spinach and lettuce, of course.

Thus ends the garden update!!

Now, onto a few things I’ve been pondering…besides the meaning of life and our blue marble’s place in the universe...I’ve been having some random jumping around thoughts and thought I’d just toss them out in a list.

• One semester into school and I’m already rethinking my major…typical.
• I read entirely too much…books, blogs, newspapers, websites, opinion columns
• Closed captioning cracks me up…seriously. It’s best on commercials, by the way.
• What would it be like to go on a ghost hunt? To actually seek out spirits instead accidentally running into them at odd times?
• The spousal unit is actually pretty funny and witty…either I’ve rubbed off on him or he’s coming out of his shell after almost 14yrs together.
• The eldest screamer’s school supply list is redonkulous….I really don’t understand why these things are required in order to teach him: wet wipes, 2 boxes of tissue, 1 box of 13 gallon Glad trash bags (please note the BRAND name is listed). Thinking the 1st grade list is even worse with serious name brands on there and specific colors of certain things. Really thinking that we may go ahead and homeschool after all.
• Why does the youngest screamer speak like a kid from Beantown? You should hear him say girl, car and beer…you’d think we lived in Boston.
• We need to go camping or hiking or something…okay, I need to…but every single time we make plans, something happens. Guess we need to stop planning.
• I need to meditate more. All these random thoughts hit twenty at a time it seems and I forget half of them before I have time to think them through. Got to calm the crazy.

Ahh the random madness…what would my life be without it?

The Colony....

so I was numbing the brain (aka watching TV) last night after wrestling with a particularly ugly assignment (really four attachments explaining the difference between an academic paper and a business memo...four?) when a commercial for Discovery Channel's newest show, "The Colony", popped up. Looks interesting, but....(you knew there was a but coming, didn't you?)

The premise is pretty simple...follow a group of ten survivors of a major global catastrophe and watch them rebuild. Sounds cool, huh? I was intrigued, really I still am. Even though I know deep down that there will be some MAJOR leaps made. Really, one of the first things you want to do is a solar panel? Okay. Yeah, I know...it's just on the commercial, they may actually make something good of this. I'm going to watch anyway, just to see what "they" think surviving and rebuilding should entail. (Quick, find the nearest Mickey D's and fire up the grills!! I need a Big Mac....sorry bub, hunt ya something, literally...hahaha)

It's interesting to see that the folks in charge of airing on the boob tube have taken a shine to the survivor thing at least (I'm not talking Survivorman or Man vs. Wild either...though I love both when I can catch them). Should be even more interesting to see where they take the whole thing, ya think?

Happiest of 4ths to you all...

as I sit here in the cloudy, grey and typical fine MO afternoon (typical for the 4th at least). Pondering the grilled (too much heat under it) chicken that Pop made and the runny baked beans I made (never said I was perfect...or did I?) along with the cool breezes blowing. I sit here listening to the rain sprinkling down, the frogs croaking and the birds singing. Little ones making a racket and biting flies attacking me. Damn those flies.

Wishing all a Happy 4th. Hope your fireworks are better than ours (though if one of the redneck neighbors manages to catch himself on fire this year, the show should be entertaining at least) and your beers are cold.

Believe it or not...

there are other things going on in the world. MSM would have you believe that the universe is coming to a crashing end because of the death of one man...um, no sorry.

Yep, you got it...this is a rant. A rant about how I've not seen a decent news story about anything since Thursday. Okay...he died, it was sudden, it was tragic...and the Earth still went on turning and things continued on. Now can you, MSM, please continue on as well.

I would most sincerely like to be able to see what is going on in other places in the world and get my local news/weather without hearing about Michael Jackson. Don't get me wrong, I do occassionally break out into a rousing rendention of "Thriller" complete with dance moves...but seriously now.

A family friend put it this way..."You'd think Jesus had died all over again." I had to laugh and agree...it sure seems that way with all the coverage. MJ was no Jesus though, let's face it.

I'm just flat out tired of not getting to watch the news...I can't possibly be alone in this...can I?

Aaaahhhh....

we're experience a slight cool down in these parts...ie it's not a hundred million degrees with a heat index of two hundred million. Won't last long, but we're enjoying it whilst we can.

The screamers are well recovered from the scorching they received earlier this month, for the most part, and are loving the time in the kiddie pool, sandbox and when Mommy has the time, the creek.

We're set for a blackberry quest down the road a piece from the townhouse a little later this week...don't know what I'll do with them as it is fairly certain that the littlest screamer will eat more than he should...maybe a small (VERY small) cobbler.

Other than the laid back goings on of summer here, not much else to report. Hoping for a little income boost (hardy har har) in the next month or so...oh yeah, we kilt our van and are now driving a zippy little '89 Honda Civic. She gets killer gas mileage that's for dang sure! Trying to convince the male parental figure he needs to let me keep her, apparently he's gone deaf on that topic...sigh. Anyway, would love (like so many others) the income boost for purely selfish reasons...I want to take the screamers out to Branson for a weekend. A little camping, a little Silver Dollar City and a little down time together as a family before we go through the overhaul of moving and such later this year. The spousal unit has plateau'd with actual weight loss but is putting on muscle now so it won't be long 'til the day of contract signing. Woot!

School is school...good days and bad...but I still have a decent enough GPA to brag about, especially since I've been out of school for over a decade. Just three weeks left in the semester, then we start all over again.

The garden at the parental figures house is growing good, lots of tomatoes (again) this year. Beans are hanging in there and we're getting overrun by butternut squash and pumpkins. Mom will be starting on pickles next week...unreal!

Gotta get for a bit...the screamers want to crawdad hunt!

Alas...

Time to be the DT again (see lovely bannerish thingie to the right, just below the blogroll sections) or if you rather “political dissident”.

Like a lot of you, I’ve been following the goings on overseas. Kind of frightening if you sit and think on these things a little too long. Iran, North Korea, Israel…it’s ugly and things haven’t even hit the boiling point yet. There is a part of me that says “step away from the arena and don’t get involved” but we all know that won’t happen. Noses will be poked in and likely put out of joint. Then something will be said/done that will cause a massive brouhaha up on the Hill and once again we (US) will be trying to play savior or referee in a pissing match.

All of this will of course set off the rest of the world. With the “where do they get off” and the “can’t just tend to their own business” lines being thrown around (sometimes I do agree, btw). But you know as well as I do that IF the US did not poke a nose in or make an effort that there would be the “how could they not” and “self-center, self-absorbed” crap being said. It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. These things just piss me off.

The mom in me wants to dig a hole to hide the screamers in, but we all know that it’s pretty much useless to try to do that. The dissident in me is screaming at the top of her lungs to let them burn, also useless. The realist in me sees that history is about to repeat itself yet again. We now have my generation’s Vietnam with Iraq, we’ll soon be witnessing a new style French revolution in Iran if things keep going the way they are and as for the US…hello, you know this man…once he was called Hitler and made lots of changes to the German government “for the good of the people”.

I was watching one of my favorite movies last night, The Fifth Element, and I have to agree with Leelu…there isn’t much, on the surface, about mankind that is worth saving. It is unfortunate that after all these millennia, we have still failed to learn to live with one another without constantly trying to tear one another apart over things like skin pigmentation, belief or disbelief in a certain religious entity, land…the list goes on and on and everyday gets longer. I’m not saying life on Earth should be living in one giant utopia, just that perhaps the governments of the world should take this dissident mother’s mantra in parenting to heart….Pick Your Battles.

Little Lobsters...

that's what the screamers are right now. Been out splashing around in a wading pool at the parental figures' place. Naturally, since I was absent for the biggest part of the day the male parental figure didn't think on his own to grease up the monkeys before setting them loose in the sun.

Oh well, at least I have a nice mix of witch hazel and herbs awaiting in the fridge at home.

I meandered a bit around the garden a little bit ago, seems that since I encouraged the planting of peas that they are now my responsibility. The tending, picking and shelling. Male parental figure blames me, lol. Fortunately there aren't enough to do much damage. Matter of fact, the only thing that will be overly plentiful this year seems to be butternut squash and pumpkins. It's early though, so we shall see.

Hope all are loving the rain/sun/whatever that Ma Nature is throwing at you and hope it isn't making your gardens not do their thing!

Been thinking (oy the heat!).....

Busy chic…that’s me! I love it though. Between the screamers, school and all the running about that we’ve done in the past month I’ve had very little time to actually sit and think on the blog…my apologies. The good news is that with a little wandering about in the area around the apartment, the screamers and I have found a little spring to play in on super hot days, a massive blackberry bramble to pick at in a few weeks, a huge wild strawberry patch just begging to be relieved of some of its bounty and a fishing spot in said stream that the screamers can’t wait to “pish” in.
Amazing what a little wandering in your neighborhood will yield. I know this, of course, and know that I should have taken these wanderings last year…I certainly didn’t expect to be here still, stuck in this little place with no yard. Since I am, and don’t know for how much longer, I figured that with all the happy joy in the world (knyuck, knyuck) I might as well make the most of the area I have to work with. I have heirloom seeds hidden away for a small garden (do it now folks), mapped the area immediately around the apartment with emphasis on natural food sources (morels, persimmon and nut trees, etc) and have been taking the screamers on progressively longer treks into the woods. It keeps the skills sharp, right?
I’ve been thinking lately on skills that I acquired in the service, however brief the time I was there. A lot of these beauties are forgotten art forms in truth, the rarest being map reading. It’s not a lost art form, but is definitely not as well used as it was once upon a time.
Very few folks use maps, not the atlas kind…real maps, with elevation and such. The exceptions are serious hunters, soldiers and the majority of hikers. Now everyone (well, not everyone but you get the point) depends on GPS. Nice to have to a point, not that I have any, but one little zap and the GPS is shot all to hell with no chance of getting it back.
I am curious as to the company I keep here online…anyone else practice the fine art of real map reading? Anyone else love to pull out their topos and a compass just because?
All this pondering has left me with a desire for some really good topo maps. I mean countrywide style. So today I begin my search for some decent topographical maps that are fairly comprehensive of the North American continent…dreaming? Perhaps, but I don’t mind piecing it together…or the challenge of trying to find it for free, lol.

Sun shining, breeze blowing...

and I'm stuck in the freakin' house. Not really, I did spend the morning putting together a free swing set that my folks picked up for the boys (can't argue with free). But I'm chafing under the bit here, I could have been out on a nice hike with my men except the biggest one (ie the spousal unit) didn't want to hike in the rain. Lo and behold...no rain, it isn't scheduled to be here until Monday now.

Hope he enjoys working in it...hope it comes a flood on his candy ass.

Speaking of the spousal unit, as of last Tuesday the man only has 9 1/2 pounds left to be dumped (on me apparently since I've lost no more weight) before he can officially fanangle his contract. Not a good idea, I hear some shout (ahem, my mom, his mom...the entire population of folks we know with the exception of my sister)...perhaps but unless he does it we won't ever be able to stand on our own...not now. There just aren't too many folks hiring, let alone hiring a job jumper like the spouse. Military is his best bet (and ours as a family) and he likes it best anyway...may as well do a job you love, right?

Heatwave....

not really, just couldn't think of another title...lmbo.

I've been thinking on heating alternatives...rephrase...cooking on the go alternatives. The spousal unit favors Coleman related stuff (ie the stoves and canisters) for B.O.B.s....I prefer (dun dun dun dun) Sterno. Weight makes a difference ya know.

Then again, the spouse prefers wood cooking over it all but I have issues with smoke signals when you are trying to fly under the radar...we agree to disagree but go with the Sterno since I pack the bags, lol.

So tell me...what do you prefer? Linkage is always good, because I like to look at what is recommended (ahem...Show Me State native).

A bit stretched out...

right now! What with the summer time upon us, familial trips (out of state, in state, camping...the list goes on), school for me and now the garden popping up all over...I'm pulling myself a little thin all around.

I'll try to keep up regular posting, but you must forgive me if I go a few days (or a week) in between. There is so much for me to get done before the spousal unit takes off (sometime soon) to post unknown (as of yet) and the oldest screamer starts school of his own (now I'm thinkin' it wasn't such a bad idea!!) that I've gotta cut somewhere and unfortunately it's here.

I'll still be around, just not as much. I'll still post irrelevant information, just not as much. Heck, might even be a useful gem or two in here somewhere at some point.

Catch ya'll soon, I hope!!

Glutton for Punishment...

bright and early (well, before it even gets bright actually) in the morning, the spousal unit, the offspring and myself will be wheeling our way southeasterly to KY for a visit with the in-laws. It will be the first time in a year that they've seen the screamers...not by my hand, believe me...it's their own choice.

So here I am, less than three days after a harrowing flight schedule hitting the traveling trail once again. See, I love this...I could so be a nomad. Wonder if that is a paid profession?

Well....I will be able to at least be online there for a bit. Have to actually since I have class stuff to do anyway. Might drop a line or two telling you how miserable I am, lol.

Have a good long weekend all!!

Home Again, Home Again

Wow! That was by far the most interesting and fun week I've had in a long time. Quite informative as well.

I won't bore you with details, let's just say I had a lot of fun and plenty of time to think without interruption (which isn't necessarily always a good thing, lol). It gave me the chance to take a step back and have a good look at things (life, relationships, where we stand in general with home stuff, etc). I guess I am the kind of person that needs to physically step out of the situation to be able to assess it mentally.

In doing that, I've discovered that my life could be way worse (duh, knew that) and found ways to make myself feel useful. See that's what the problem was, I didn't feel useful. I don't 'work' so can't really bitch about money too much (but do). My 'job' isn't paid or very much appreciated for the most part, but it's mine. I've got at least another two years before I can/will even consider working outside the home again...it's only fair to the littlest screamer to be home with him like I was the biggest. So the online schooling stuff for me is a step in the right direction for feeling useful. It begins on Monday (25th)...I should probably be nervous but I'm not given that my first two classes are cherry easy.

So, in short, that lovely (and I do mean LOVELY) vacation gave me a slightly different perspective and I'm going to run with it...can't do much worse than I've done before and it's a learning opportunity (always good).

As for Portland, let's just say that someday...someday...I will be a Portlander permanent or at the very least an Oregon girl. Gorgeous city, stunning countryside, great people...heck, I didn't even mind the chilly winds and cold rains. If you've never been, go. Next year, jebus/allah/buddha providing, the whole lot of us are going...may the Dust help me!!

From the phone

Hi from Portland! Trip is going great, nice and relaxing.

Had a deja vu moment that I'll fill you in on when I get back...even though I feel like I should now. Heck, I'll do it now.

Remember a few months back when I wrote about a disturbing dream that had something to do with May? Well, it's May. Just like my dream, I am near mountians and someplace I've never been before. More odd is that yesterday in my wanderings of downtown Portland, I came across a small park that was familiar even though I'd never seen it before...while awake! This little park is the one from my dream...which weirds me out a little given I know what happened in my dream.

Micheal also knows, since he asked and I shared...whatcha think Micheal...should I be worried that I'm halfway across the country from home and the screamers?

In the meantime, I continue my wanderings of this gorgeous city.

Last Post....

from the home computer at least...until the 18th!!

For the safety and sanctity of my darling computer, I will be shutting her down and locking her up while I'm gone...little fingers tend to add extra hard drives that don't really exist and can't be erased when left to their own devices.

I have however learned how to post a full on post via my loverly phone...so I may be sweet and fill you in on a day or two of vacation. Or you can check in every once in a while on the Twitter thingy to the left...sure to be lots of updates there!

I won't be able to respond to comments, but will be able to read them via email (also on my super freakin' cool phone), so comment away when I post...if I post...nah, I'll post at least once, promise.

In the meantime, bag is packed up and dang if I'm not counting down the hours.

2 days
55 hours
3302 minutes
198166 seconds

Take your pick...they all point to the exact same time, lol.

Here ya go HJ!!

As promised...the littlest screamer gathering seashells, lol. Sorry there's no video...he was on the toilet, the one place he can't run away when I start recording.

Enjoy!

Oh and as a bonus, you can listen to the little smartass sing and be his usual sassy self if you want.

Go to folder - FileFactory.com

More TV to lay on ya....

in the form of a somewhat survivalist mindset...of course.

Out of the Wild : The Alaska Experiment

Have you watched any of this? Just curious what your take on it is. I giggled during the first episode at the decision to take everything offered to them in a pile of 'junk' (I mean please, a ukulele...the strings, yes but the whole thing, no)...in the end they ended up paying for that decision by having way more than they could carry for any decent length...wore them out, made them use up energy that they couldn't spare. Then the decision to take a 'shortcut' over a mountain...um, can we say dumb?

All in all it's been a pretty interesting show so far. A few things that I personally would have done differently (see above for two big ones). If you haven't been watching it, the basis is pretty simple. Nine people get dropped off in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness at the end of fall (ie winter is coming on) and have to hike 60 miles out. Each one has a GPS that they can push to have a helicopter come pick them up when they feel like they've had enough (nice, can I have one of those for TEOTWAWKI?), they were given three days of bush training...blah, blah...basically it's a bunch of city slickers (for the most part) dropped into the super cold Alaskan 'outback'. I've found it a nice study in psychology thus far.

I don't often praise TV shows, but this one I will...let's you get a bit of a different perspective on others ideals of survival, what they are willing to put up with (ie hunger, cold, tiredness, etc), makes you think about what you would do differently and in my case, makes me see areas that I could use some brushing up on, like snares.

Anyway, is there anyone else out there watching it? Has it pointed out anything to you that you didn't realize you weren't trained up on or thinking of?

A Bit of Hollyweird...(and other stuff)

that I'm actually excited about....The Road finally has a release date! Woot!

Love the book and so hope that the director/producers/everyone else involved did it justice. For me, it already has one thing in its favor...it has Viggo Mortensen starring as The Man. If there is one 'celebrity' I'd love to meet, it's Viggo. But I won't wax poetic on ya, just suffice it to say he rocks. Okay, enough Hollyweird.

The home front...a week to go before the big "I'm outta here for a while" and you bet I'm counting down. No, I'm not packed yet (puh-leeze I am queen procrastinator around here) but I do know what I'm taking. Lots of plans on things to see and do, but naturally I'm keeping things nice and flexible. No sense getting there then stressing out over not getting to do something in particular at a certain time...it is supposed to be a vacation after all.

The screamers are back home and driving me appropriately crazy...along with their father. What's a girl to do? Run screaming into the dark and hide from the monsters!! Nah, I just take it as it comes mostly. They squealed the glories of the peas and butternut squash popping up in the parental units' garden, told me stories of the pumpkin and watermelon plants growing as tall as them (love those imaginations) and regaled me with tales of migrating snapping turtles. They are currently 'relaxing' in the tub (ie splashing around like giant tuna).

Tomorrow is lazy day 'round these parts. The sun is supposedly going to pay a visit, so I may just be the cool mom and take the screamers out on a walkabout. May even get adventurous and walk them into town for a library visit...maybe. It's only two miles...guess I could be cool mom tomorrow. I dunno. Sure, why not. A little library time, lunch at the park, a little playing in the creek then home for what will probably be a much deserved nap for me. It's all about adventure and for the screamers that will be an adventure for sure.

So, adventure it is...care to join us? I promise, my boys don't bite...hard.

Ah, May Day...

no, not as in Mayday, Mayday we're going down...May Day, ya know, May 1st (I am assuming here that you do of course own a calendar and have some sort of sense of time...don't make me be wrong).

My May Day was lazy. No littles, they are with the 'rents...I hung around the house and puttered about a bit with my container garden. Well, I put dirt in the containers, weeded out the odd seedlings which were not edible and put out some seeds that should have been put out forever and ago. The chill is finally disappearing a bit from the air around here, so I figured it was a safe bet to lower some seeds in the ground...well, the pots at least.

I tend to err on the side of caution with planting in pots...don't want a sudden freeze or something to kill off the roots of those tender little darlings. Figured today was just as good as any for getting a few seeds out. Right now there are just butternut squash and pinto beans out. Though I did get a mite bit adventurous and used some of those 'just add water' peat pot thingiemajigs and set me up a window sill garden of spinach and mesclun...have it set in a nice sunny window, waiting for the sun (lots of rain here abouts the next couple of days). If it starts failing inside, I have a long window box on the balcony it can occupy.

Thinking of getting one of those topsy turvy whatevers for tomatoes. They have a knock-off at Wally World for about $8...including seeds (which I doubt I use since they are probably hybrids...I'll spend a little extra for heritage, thank you much). Trying to talk Pops into giving me the extra bit of leftover trellis he has hidden in the basement so I can build a 'fence' for the cukes and/or beans to climb.

Have I mentioned that all of my gardening this summer is container, on a balcony, in very few pots? Yeah...think I'll go snag a few of the pots Mom has tucked away in the basement. Oh, the balcony is plenty big...but only gets direct sun in the early mornings and afternoon. Might be a bit of a challenge to keep everything growing happy, but I'll sure give it the old college try. I always have the parental unit's garden to raid should I fail miserably. I sincerely hope I do not fail, lol.

Hope your May Day was as relaxing as mine...off to enjoy the rolling thunder that is playing a brilliant concerto outside for a bit!!

Breathe...

it's safe now, we can all breathe a sigh of relief. I know you were all waiting on tenderhooks to see if I could pull off finding lodging on the cheap...well, I did. (bwahahahahaha)

Finalizing details with arrival and such tomorrow, but as of right now I gots me a nice little pad in a finished basement. Complete with fridge, microwave, bed, shower AND it's close to all the transit I could want or need.

Yep, I'm one resourceful chick. Eat your hearts out, lol.

So in just a little over a week and a half I'll be dropping onto Texas soil for a brief (VERY brief) visit, then onward to Oregon (go west, young...er...well, go west). Any Portlanders dropping by feel free to point me in the direction of a good coffee house (nyuk, nyuk).

HJ, Cyg...I'll wave at ya from the airport...I promise!

Now back to our not-so-regular schedule (schedule said like the British with the whole funky ssshhced thing).

Are ya freakin' over the whole swine flu thing like the WHO? Just wondering...I don't really have an opinion on it yet, too early...but I tend to err on the side of "we ain't seen nothing yet" just cause I know that the numbers are probably higher than they even think/know/guess...not everyone goes running to the doctor when they start getting sick, some can't afford it (ME!!) and some have a massive fear of doctors. Should be interesting, non?, to see how this plays out...containment is a goner, too late...prevention, fat chance because this puppy is new and a mutant (not the hot kind like Wolverine or Cyclops either). Just gonna keep an eye on this one, 'bout all one can do at this point.

Well, that's it for the night folks...gotta pull the bread out of the oven and spend a little time sippin' some ginger tea (just about have this cold licked). Catch ya tomorrow...maybe!

Dear Congress,

Is there any reason in particular that you cannot get this passionate about the problems we face in our own country?


Five members of Congress arrested at Darfur protest

I do not begrudge you the right to protest that which you feel is wrong. I do not ask you to stop believing that those less fortunate deserve your help. I only ask that you look to your own country and to your countrymen, women and children. There are more than enough less fortunate here to warrant your outrage. The numbers are growing by the day due to Congressional/Presidential actions.

You are elected on faith by those that believed you would do what you promised. Have you? I certainly hope that the current issues facing our nation are not what you promised and that you do indeed intend to get equally passionate about the injustices on the homefront as you are about those that are not so close to home.

However, I will not hold my breath.

It's all about Adaptability...

so I've been saying. Got a real test on that theory this weekend.

Because I don't have a 'real' credit card, the rental car company tacked on an extra $200 to my deposit for the vacation/getaway car. Um...no thank you. Canceled the car, canceled the hostel...gonna spend a week puttering around Portland instead.

Doesn't stink too bad, lots to see and do there (I'm particularly excited about that massive bookstore Powell's....yeah baby). The other upside is that with the canceling of the rental, I was able to get a cell that I can actually post to the blog from (oh the tech junkie in me is just ecstatic). Add to that the Portland is a leading city in 'green' living (yes, we know how I feel about the green wave) and I'm sure to pick up some ideas that I haven't already had to put into play here.

See, flexible plans. Now if I can just find something affordable to live in for a week, lol. The hostels there cost as much as a hotel room nearly...so I'm going all nuts looking for a sublet that I can actually afford...yeah, good luck!!

Unthinkable...

I have done the unthinkable. No, not picked up and walked away from the mess around here (I did say unthinkable, that's always a thought)...I took the oldest screamer to 'Kindergarten Roundup' tonight AT HIS REQUEST.

Yes, I realize he is five. Yes, I realize what I have done. He's not registered yet...there is the 'placement' test first. No worries there, my boy will blow them out of the water. He did tonight. Not to brag at all...it's the truth. He left several aides and two teachers with their mouths hanging open when he A.) gave them the complete playground rules before they asked B.) spelled his name for them without a pause C.) colored a very colorful version of Sponge Bob, then wrote out the word Sponge Bob as I spelled it to him and told them that he dreams in color so his Sponge Bob is colorful and not just yellow (gotta love 5 yr old logic).

The kid is a sponge (like most start out being) and got it into his stubborn little head (thank you Mom...intense sarcasm there) that he NEEDED to go to "school in a building"...I said fine, knowing full well that the first time the school tries to tell me he is too hyper that's the end. I will jerk his not hyper butt out of there so fast their bobble heads will pop right off. He is five...that is what five year olds do...get crazy, play, pretend, talk, not pay attention, etc.

I'm disgusted by two things already...well one really but it's two things about that one thing that drive me batty.

"Recess" (and I use that term VERY loosely) is two 15 minutes sessions. Two 15 minute sessions. I'll repeat that once more for those that skipped the first two times or simply can't believe what they read...two 15 minute sessions. One in the morning, one in the afternoon. Oh, did I mention that this is an all day kind of thing? Yeah...what happened to half days?

Anyway, in these two 15 minute sessions the boy and his classmates will either play outside on a playground OR play in the gym with weather demands. During these two 15 minute sessions there will be approximately 100 (see that? 100) children supervised by 2 teachers. 2 teachers. I will not repeat that since it makes my stomach twist. It should be noted that there are class aides, but I heard no mention of them in the supervisory roll. You can see where my problem lies, right?

My child is the most accident prone creature I have ever in my life met. He had his first set of stitches due to an accident BEFORE he was a year old (did you know that a waxed candle wick can and will pierce and rip skin? I didn't until then). His second Christmas (first walking Christmas) he sported a massive black eye for all the pictures and went by 'Bruiser' for the two weeks that followed. The boy has been to the ER more times in his short 5 years than I've been my entire life. Now, the past two years (almost) have been good, no ER visits since the battery swallowing episode. But still...you have to see why I'm a little iffy about 2 teachers.

Let's not even get into the whole 15 minutes of exercise. Excuse me, you will not be able to contain my child with so little exercise. I really do apologize ahead of time for the trouble it will cause you dear teachers...no, not really. You ask for it when you ask a five year old to sit in a chair and be a worker ant. Newsflash: You have your work cut out for you if you intend to crush that kid. He won't be crushed, his Momma won't let you drug him...you, my friends, are SOL. Good luck trying to make him fit the mold. I can't even get him to write his alphabet in order...the letters are all there, just scattered all over the page like a giant find-a-word puzzle.

I've had this child with me for five (LONG) years...I'm sorry that he wants to go, but I won't deny him the opportunity to see. I don't have it in me. He's so different from his little brother that it is night and day. The youngest will probably never ask to go, but I won't tell him no either should he want to. The oldest has always rushed into life headlong heedless of direction...he is a true force of nature that will not be denied.

So it is with great sadness (and a fake smile, as exampled tonight) that I relinquish my oldest child to these people. These people that will not enjoy the wonder in his eyes when he learns something new, not the way that I do. These people that will try to make him be something he isn't. I know that I can say NO. But I take the blame in saying yes...and hold out hope that he hates it, though I know he won't. I take comfort in knowing that I am giving him an opportunity (for what I don't know yet) and that it's only until December (one way or another).

(It should be noted that the spousal unit is incredibly torn up about this. He is scared for the fearless one. I'm not so scared as disappointed that he wants to go...after all he didn't get the idea from me.)

On this day...

the day before the much ballyhoo'd Earth Day, I want to preach on 'green'.

If you don't watch TV, you're missing out on nothing except being deluged with commercials on greening up your living space, reducing your carbon footprint and instructions on how to help reverse global warming. Newsflash: Dear Greenies, it is NOT in your best interest to try to undo that which Ma Nature herself has set in motion. That's right I said it.

I do believe in Global Warming, evidence of a warming trend in general is overwhelming...I DO NOT believe that it is entirely man-made or reversible (in other words, Mr. Gore your ideas are not my belief). Why? Because it is a cycle that this blue space marble we reside on goes through. It cools down, it heats up, please repeat as necessary...insignificant species that do not have the ability to adapt disappear and become fossils, oil and pretty rocks. It's a cycle that takes way longer than we (ie humans) have been in residence. A cycle that we are only just scratching the surface of with our paltry scientific studies.

However, like most things, we (ie humans) tend to look to the easiest explanation (big spirit in the sky plays in mud and makes man, human advances warm the earth to dangerous levels, etc...okay, I'm sure I touched a nerve somewhere with one of those) and look for an uber complicated way to 'fix' things. Please don't fix my section, I'd rather not see the damage you can do.

This does not go to say that I believe that we can't do something about the situation. No, far from it. We can practice sustainability. Self-reliance of a sort.

Stop with the whole buying of boxed goods that take more energy to process than you receive from them, stop with the using of chemical laden products that just get tossed in the garbage and buried/stacked/dumped somewhere that screws with ground water, learn to garden responsibly (ie compost for your own fertilizer, use gray/rain water, pick the flippin' pests off by hand)...the list goes on and on folks. It's actually a quite logical list. Think of how you would handle the problem in the first place then do the opposite...we've been trained (for the most part) over the years to do that which is exactly wrong for living a life free.

Break the cycle, do something unexpected...don't 'go green' for the sake of going green...go sustainable for your own peace of mind. Knowing that you don't 'need' to run to (insert whatever store you want here) to pick up dinner, diapers, bug killer (there is a reason they are there after all...think cycle of nature again) and whatever thing you don't really need in order to live is a massive relief. This again cycles back to prepping, long term. By retraining your brain to think 'out of the box' that it has been forced in for all these years, you are in essence training yourself to survive.

Learning to save seeds (good ones, heirloom...not genetically enhanced), learning to garden responsibly (square foot is a good place for beginners to start, imo), learning to do without a disposable lifestyle....these are tiny, tiny baby steps to becoming truly green and self-sufficient.

If you must celebrate Earth Day, plant a FRUIT or NUT producing tree suitable to your zone (decorative trees are pretty, sure...but can you eat them?). Don't make a run to the store for disposable diapers, make a run for cloth and save yourself some future visits. Look up your local nursery in the phone book and ask about heirloom plants that haven't been tampered with OR find a good heirloom seed company (start with www.rareseeds.com) for your garden. Start small, read up and apply...look at that, you're on your way to reducing your carbon footprint and becoming self-sustainable. Easy, no?

Mommy's Day Off (Extended Edition)

this is becoming a trend in our house. Not so disturbing, which in and of itself is disturbing.

The screamers departed the premises on Wednesday evening, with the eldest informing me that he would not be home again until Monday. My mother just laughed and stated they could stay as longs as they/I wanted them to stay. An ongoing trend in the Ozark house...my willingly sending my children off to the parental figures for extended stays (upwards of 3 days at a time now).

I distinctly remember a time when I disliked even leaving my screamers for short jaunt to the grocery...now I'm waiting, bag in hand, at the door when my parents come to get them. As of this very moment, I have NO clue when my children will return. I'm not worried, I know where they are. Besides I managed to survive my childhood under my parents' supervision, my boys should be able to do the same...right?

So Mommy has another day off...and has no clue what to do with it!! The weather thingy down on my toolbar is saying partly sunny with a high of near 70 today. Methinks I'll be grabbing my camera (the good one...the 35mm...fine, I'll take the digital too) and going for a wandering walk around the lake. But first, I'll be sleeping in...which translates to anything past 7:30, lol. (For the record the current time in my hills is 1 a.m.)

Today is sure to be nice...silence, sleeping late, quiet coffee time, long walk...yeah, nice. If I'm feeling spunky, I may just walk into town for lunch. But then again lunch in the woods sounds good too. Hmmmm.

Busy, Busy, Busy....

Sorry I've not been on much lately, other than to Tweet updates and random thoughts (see Twitter in right column).

I'm one busy Momma these days (and not just because I've seen the sun for two days straight)!! Been busy filling out college applications, working on essays for said applications (good grief) and now I have two articles to add to the writing mess. Keep in mind there is still a house to run, screamers to chase after and blow bubbles with AND a trip to get ready for (working on last minute needs that I can find el cheapo via a neighbor that used to hike but can't anymore...can we say bartering him down to prices I can afford?). Toss in a little extra research on schools of choice (oh how I wish I could go to Lewis & Clark right off) and I've got just a little extra time on my hands...very little.

I've got a few posts in the works, but well...let's face it...I'm going to get the school stuff done first, lol.

Hope the weather is treating all well, the gardens/seedlings are doing brilliant and you all are taking even just a few minutes a day to do something for you!!

If you are reading this....

HELP!! I am being held hostage against my will by two little boys covered in dye and waving eggs on spoons at me! My fingers are probably multi-colored and I am certain that I reek of vinegar.

At this moment, I am most likely using one of the following phrases:

'Please don't drink the dye'
'Put the spoon down son'
'Mom, I hope you weren't attached to that particular cup'
'Boy, I will break your fingers if you flip that spoon at me one more time'
'Do not encourage them Dad'

I am likely stressed but laughing and dotted with a myriad of color. A migraine is probably forming in the back of my skull that I won't feel until sometime later tonight. I am probably sneaking glasses of wine behind my mother's back. I might be taking pictures of the chaos, so be prepared.

Hope your egg dyeing adventures are as interesting as mine...I am resigned, no help is on the way....this wasn't in the bailout.

Random Fun Fact of the Day

My connection with Texas. I have family there, but that isn't the fun connection (sorry family). The fun connection isn't even HJ, Cyg and Mayberry (though they rank higher than family).

Nope, the fun connection is this: My hometown, Potosi, was founded by the father of the father of Texas. Yep, ol' Moses Austin (Stephen Austin's father) founded little Potosi. Breton Creek is just down the road along with a little park commemorating Mine á Breton (M. Austin's original acquisition).

I can't tell you how long my family has been here, how deep the roots go...but we like to tease Grandma by saying that the McCullouch's and Rawson's that made their home in MO came along with the Mormons and just ditched. (check it, Rawson is a biggie in that group)

Yeah, there's still lead everywhere...yeah, there are old smelters still in people's backyards...but hey, it's my Texas connection!

Educating you with useless knowledge is always my pleasure...Just call me Professor Mama.

Vitameatavegamin

A nice rambling post for ya today...since I feel like it!

Vitamins...do you multi, singlize or not at all? Me, I have a nice little multi that I take. Some of you might recognize it...it's called a prenatal and I picked up a couple of bottles for a big ol' $4 each about a month ago (set for a few months if I remember to take them every day...which I do not). NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT!!!! I take prenates because, well...they have everything my body needs and then some. I don't eat like I 'should'...I *gasp* skip the heck outta breakfast on most days and the prenates help make up for some of the bad. I also pop an Acaci pill in the am and the pm (got 'em for free, literally and they do give a boost) and a green tea tab (whopping $1 at the local grocery) when I remember it. Since I am a free sample junkie, I have a nice little collection of that cool new Benefiber drink mix stuff designed for bottled water on days that I need a boost (or just want flavored water).

Next! Mail...we have not gotten a single piece of mail in well over a week. This bothers me because our mailbox (and all the others in the row) have been beaten all to hell a couple of times this winter by someone with too much time on their hands. The spousal unit has been ordered (at least three times) to stop by the PO on the way home and discuss this with the Postmaster...he's also supposed to be calling about the title release on the van (which has been paid off since Feb.)...surprise, surprise...not been done. Dear jury, let the record show that I just finished calling the loan company and am thoroughly pissed at their stupidity for sending the release to the WRONG place...yeah, that's right, more phone calls for me to make since no one else seems to know how to do that. Sigh.

Next! Done, done, done....the above is just a tiny example of the bull that I put up with on a daily basis. It only furthers my thoughts on being done with it. What I see happening: single mom going back to school (maybe) and working her ass off full time to support two screamers...in a new State. Thinking that the December deadline was entirely too generous of me, thinking that it's going to end the exact same way it has every other time this talk has happened...thinking that the cycle is about to get broken (along with a few hearts). Thinking that I really don't give a rat's ass either.

Oh, oh....have you tried those new 'Breakfast on the Go' thingies from Emerald? You should. EXCELLENT! Especially for taking off into the woods with. Sure, sure...I could buy all the ingredients and mix it up myself, but let's be honest here...I won't. I'm an instant gratification kind of girl for the most part and this is instant. Besides, I'm sure that my mix wouldn't end up sealed in nice little single serving bags convenient for backpacking. Definitely taking some of these on the trail with me next month...along with my Jack Link's nuggets and Zatarain's rice packs...nice and healthy, eh? ;P

Forgive Me...

for the slight abandonment after the slight rant the other day. I got knocked down temporarily by something...a bug, just plain tired...something. At any rate, I'm nearly up and kicking again after a couple of days of funk.

Also forgive me if you've see the following already, a couple of headlines that grabbed me this a.m. I've not done my blog rounds as of yet and don't know what everyone is ranting/rambling about today!!

Headline #1. Thoughts: The key word in the last sentence of this article is YET. Keep that one in mind.

Headline #2. Thoughts: (tongue in cheek) Looks like some are already living the dream of a simpler life. Piracy...hmm. It has potential.

On to other stuff...just a little over a month until 'the trip'. The spouse is starting to panic. See he was supposed to be putting back money, he hasn't been. But, being as I KNOW how this man thinks, I am good to go. He just doesn't know that, so I let him sweat. Evil, perhaps. But it is a necessary lesson, one he should have learned years ago. Now, this doesn't go to say that I have all the money for this trip I would like to have...not at all. It does go to say that I have enough to take care of the basics, which is fine by me. Movin' on.

Ahhh, eggs...Easter fast approaches, not that the screamers really pay attention to these things. What it really means around here is fun with dye and food. The screamers are insanely jealous of my playing with dye and yarn, so combining something they WANT (dye) with something they LOVE (food) is the best part of Easter. They do not like Easter morning sunrise service (something we do to appease my mother)...thinking on skipping that this year anyway...I'm having organized religion issues again (surprise, surprise).

Alas, the day is moving forward...the screamers are demanding sustenance and I'm in need of some of the sunny skies that are hanging around today. Ya'll get out if you can and enjoy a little bit of Spring.

Do ya like it?

Well, members of the Obamanation, do ya? Do you like the 'change' you screamed for? 'Cause I don't. And yes, I have the right to bitch, whine and complain...I voted, but not for your guy.

If you're a smoker, my Obama lovin' pal...do you like that new 'tax'...can you still afford your smokes? If not, how long before nicotine withdrawal has you going nutty and cursing change?

How about the campaign promises...no bi-partisan goo, no earmark/pork spending...how ya likin' how that's worked out for us? Just curious...you know, someone else's change may not be the change you had in mind.

Personally, I hold to the whole 'change starts at home'...just like education. If you want something changed (your life, your situation, your gov't), you gotta do the changing and not depend on someone else to do it for you. We've become a nation of lazy, do nothing for ourselves people. We (I use the term loosely here) sit and wait for someone to come and tell us what to do. We are lost without someone else giving direction.

Then there are a select few (roughly 3%) that think on for ourselves, don't wait for MSM to tell us what is really going on and make an effort to ensure that we don't become one of the raging insane should TSHTF...we aren't looked on too kindly. We are played up as crazy, fight starting nutjobs. We should stop thinking, stop forming opinions and start following along, right?

Someone goes apeshit...people die. 'Survivalists' are painted up as the culprit because apeshit has/had guns. Newsflash, not EVERY survivalist has guns. Matter of fact, you're reading one. I take that back, we do have the shotgun. Whoa, watch out...gonna take over the city with a two barrel shotgun. You should really be more worried about what I can do to you without a weapon...you might be unpleasantly surprised.

The point is...you keep your change. Why? Because your change is nothing new...it's the same ol' bullshit that politicians have been slingin' for years. It's just a horse of a different color pulling the poo wagon now. Doesn't make it smell any sweeter and hell, it must be the wrong kind of shit in the first place...nothing grows where it falls for long.

It's a Sign, I tell ya...

Call me a quack, but I really truly believe in 'signs'. Gut feelings, deja vu (I have this A LOT)...things written in the stars.

No sooner did I finish reading HermitJim and Cyg's posts (and commenting naturally, lol) and in my email popped a tidbit titled "Transformation Time." Weird, eh? It's astrology, take it as you will...BUT this was the main body:

Pluto, the planet of transformation, takes a whopping 248 years to complete a single cycle of rotation around the Sun. On average, it spends 21 years in each sign and 5 months of each year in retrograde.

Pluto turns retrograde in Capricorn on April 4, signaling in a time of destruction and rebuilding, rejuvenation and regeneration. It is a time for fresh starts and dead ends. The things that we hang onto the tightest can suddenly be taken away. We may be forced to reevaluate the things we cherish most.

During a Pluto retrograde period, we will feel pressured to eliminate and release the old, outworn, outdated and obsolete in our lives. We will be urged to let go of attitudes, thinking or communication patterns, security drives, and rigid emotions that no longer serve us. This is an excellent time to undergo an internal form of house cleaning, and look into ourselves to determine exactly what we do and do not need.

Pluto retrograde imparts an intense power for investigation, so we should use this time to assess what reoccurring patterns in our lives make us feel out of control, where and why do we continually give our power away, and under what circumstances do we react so defensively that we elicit attacks from others. Pluto retrograde marks a time wherein we should seek to gain greater control over our lives.

A little freaky if you ask me. What with all the massive change in the air and so many of 'us' ready to make some odd changes and decisions...well, this is just one of those hmmmmmm moments for me. The next 5 months should be interesting to say the least, would have been anyway but now it's REALLY going to get that way!

Sidenote Rant: Why the hell is it that my friggin' mp3 refuses to shuffle it's electronic butt to the songs I really want to hear...nooooooo....it has to go through all the stuff I'm not in the mood for first. No, I won't hit skip...I want it to read my mind and do what I want dang it!!

The Under $100 Challenge

I've set myself up for failure...plain and simple. How? I've challenged myself to feed this family of four on less than $100 a week and feed us well. As in lots of fresh fruit and veggies, lean meats and no junk (aka processed/boxed foods). Not so easy during this time of year since I can't hit the farmers' market just yet, head to the parental figures' garden for a veggie raid or step out on the porch for homegrown goodies. Oh, can I throw in here that I don't often have coupons that I use because well...let's face it...the off brand is generally cheaper anyway.

In theory, it should work. I have the menus for the month planned out pretty much, but will be shopping weekly instead of all at once (that allows for a switch up of meals if wanted). I have some 'cheating' help in the form of WIC for the youngest screamer that negates a bit of milk, eggs and cheese along with juice and dry cereal (oh, way too much dry cereal really...you should see all the freakin' boxes around here). PLUS, I will still be adding to the preps a little each week. It's feasible to do this, but the question remains...can I?

Should be interesting to see, eh?

Call Me Cicada....(layin' a little Zodiac on ya)

I had an epiphany today. I run in seven year cycles. Right near the six or seven year mark, for the past 21 years (hey, I try to forget the first 11), I get this crazy thing going on. I don't know why...it's cyclic.

Age 11: Massive life changing year for me. My niece was born and I lost my much coveted title of 'baby of the family'. This was the year I discovered attitude and opinion...I have yet to abandon either, btw. This was the year that my buddy, Ben, and myself began to venture out into 'the woods' on our own (which may not seem big to some but to us it was). This was also the year that my first best friend ever moved away, forcing me to branch out. Boys became a whole new obsession. A big year for a little person.

Age 18: Graduation and the loss of my dear Pa (Grandpa) marked this year. Before that though I spent the early part of the year doing what 18 year old girls do best...partying, playing the field and being all around annoying (I know I was thank you very much). After graduation and the loss of Pa a week later, I came to MO to spend the summer with Grandma. I didn't want to go back to KY for college (I was in looooovvvveee), but Mom pitched a huge fit and I went against my own wishes. Less than six months later I was engaged...why? I wanted away, plain and simple. Being young and dumb (see Mrs. Hines...you were right) I thought 'consequences be damned' and married the spousal unit anyway. Can I add in here that I was healing from my first real heartbreak when I met the spousal unit? Not the most brilliant of times to start a new relationship.

Age 25: Hello US Army...military spouse time, highly educational. You should try it sometime. I had the choice this year to walk away from my marriage, almost did if you want the truth, but decided to stay and became a mom the next year.

Age 32 (present day): bad relationship juju strikes again, only now I'm older and slightly wiser. Melt down leads to frank discussion and a choice for both of us. He knows that I expect better than what he had been giving. This year is going to be harder than it started out. He hasn't laid out what he wants, other than for me to be happy (how cliche). I know he wants in...more emotion than I can show, more than I can give 'cause frankly it isn't there. I am emotionally stunted. So begins another cycle...but I've learned and I'm working through.


Have you ever read the description of an Aquarius? It's like they (whoever they are) wrote down me. There I sit on the screen or piece of paper. The passion for life but cool detachment of emotion. I know this, I've always (ALWAYS) been like this. Self-centered, eccentric...disliking being stuck in one place and senseless show of emotion.

Mom calls me her alien child. She doesn't know how right she is. My brother and sister are also the epitome of their signs (Scorpio and Virgo). Our house was one of chaos if left to deal with each other growing up...we are too different. Age has mellowed us however and though we still are what we are...we don't body slam each other in the front yard during arguments anymore (ahem...that was me getting body slammed btw). My sister worries about me, because of my flighty ways and non-emotional thinking. She, being a Virgo, is fiercely devoted to her spouse because she is irrevocably in love with him...it is her nature. My desire to run and be away from the emotional neediness of mine (who is a true Capricorn) scares her. Mom (a Cancer) is also shocked by this.

So the six/seven year cycle begins again. I look at where I am and as usual see a desire to be elsewhere. This is how it always starts. This time it is more complicated (there are little people involved now...no not leprechauns) and I'm more realistic than I've been in many years. I know that the marketable skills I have do not outmaneuver the hundreds of thousands that have the same or better skills, therefore I have no real means to support myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not above slinging burgers (did that for years) or waiting tables...I don't mind dirty work (hey...don't let your mind wander there)...but soon enough there will be much more competition. I hold no degree, but I'm tenacious.

This puts me in that scary position of 'what do/will I do'...I look at it and say 'what you want to do'. No so much 6/7 years ago, that would have been a freak out question then. Now, I shrug and add it to the list of tasks to conquer. I'm slowly evolving, taking things a bit more lightly (not everything, just some) and learning to roll with life. I plan, I prepare...but lately, I've become more and more determined to live and enjoy this life for what it is. I have a lesson to be learned, a truth to be gained or a secret to discover in this go around. There is a knowledge out there that I am suppose to acquire for the next go around. I haven't done it yet...but I will!

P.S. I drowned a spider the size of a mouse today in soapy dish water. Damn thing came out of nowhere, jumping on my arm when I stuck my hand in the sink. Under normal circumstances I would have allowed the poor eight legged freak to live, putting him outside. BUT the massive idiot jumped on my f'ing arm while I was sticking my hands into water and scared the bejesus out of me...it had to die. Of course, I then had to fish the soggy freak out of the water and start all over with the dishes. Friggin' thing was HUGE, all spread out in it's dead wet state it covered my palm. Just thought I'd share.