Friday, July 24, 2009

Other Impressions (CAUTION: CONTAINS F BOMB)

Apparently, somewhere along the way of growing up...I have left the impression with certain members of my extended family that I am a meek, quiet, unopinionated woman that is sweet and never makes a fuss or uses a curse word...I'm not sure where I went wrong. This impression has been shattered, it seems, by the very blog you are reading now.

Hell, if only I had known...I would have so held on to that fake woman and used her for something...don't know what, but something!

This blog is "nasty and disgusting" to certain members of my family because I "use the f-word for every other word" (for those that don't know the f word is FUCK...see, there...I actually used it instead of friggin' or freakin' you have my permission to be offended). Certain member must have followed a link I stuck here somewhere to one of Mayberry's rants, lol.

My apologies to those that actually come here to read and not be critics that find something wrong with everyone and everything...aka those that are not related to me by blood or marriage, with the exception of my brother who occassionally drops in (hey Robear!). When I tell you all that I am the oddball in the family, the 'alien child' as my mother calls me, I am not kidding. I'm not she who falls down in worship in a brick building every Sunday, ruled by a book written and edited by men (yes it was...last time I checked God's name wasn't Moses, David, Solomon or Daniel; it wasn't even King James or New International or whatever the popular version is now...and let's not even get into the translation issues) therefore I am my own person with my own set of beliefs that are not any less valid than yours. And should you feel the need to skip on over again, certain family member, please don't bother chatting about this to Grandma...I'm not sure she even knows what a blog is or really cares.

Oh and I don't say fuck every other fucking word...I usually don't say fuck at all because the fucking screamers pick up on it too fucking easy. We prefer to curse in German around here.

Garden Update!!! Just pulled 14 butternut squash bit by something and the leaves made me itchy. Tomatoes are finally starting to turn, so are the pumpkins after last week's cold snap. Should get real interesting around here soon!


Meadowlark said...

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

People who want to get all up in your face ought to take a looooong hard look in the mirror. Something most of them only do with lie-to-myself goggles on.

Peace out, ya fucker! :)

(that was actually pretty freeing!)

Mayberry said...

Dammit Meadowlark! You stole my fuckin' reply! Ha ha!

I am honored to offend those who are "holier than thou". Because I find 99.44% of 'em to be complete hypocrites. Carry on Momma, you know what's up.

And yes, it is a bit freeing, ain't it!

Ozark Momma said...

It is, isn't it Meadow...nothing like being able to toss a great big fuck off out there when it really needs to be said. I had that first extremely freeing experience at the tender age of 19...a real honest to goodness fuck off to someone that really needed to be told to fuck off!

Have a great fuckin' weekend!!

Ozark Momma said...

Hey Mabe~ you foul-mouthed goes it? lmao

Just had to throw in the reference to your legendary rants, ya know.

I think, it just might thirty!! (I'm actually on a rum kick right now...can't get enough pina coladas for some reason).

Mayberry said...

Two pina coladas
I want one for each hand!
Let's set sail with Captain Morgan,
and never leave dry land!

I'm very much in the nautical mood today, and damn does a pina colada sound good.....

madmaddy said...

I can swear like a salior and most of the relatives deal with it. Tho I am at my best in the car! I think 'fuck'n idiot was my daughters third word. ( It was after a very long drive from N. Idaho to Seattle driving in Tacoma bridge traffic)
Sometimes no other word can give such sweet satisfaction in explaining the frustration you have with the nitwits around you.

Howdy to Meadowlark out there, we WILL get together one of these days!! :) lol

Meadowlark said...

Jen, I suck. If you go to my blog you'll see that I've been somewhat, er, distracted. Off to Vegas next weekend then who knows!!!!

Sorry for the hijack.
I hate it when that fuckin' happens. :)

HermitJim said...

Hey Momma...I'm SHOCKED...! SHOCKED, I say! But only shocked that you didn't tell these folks to "fuck off" sooner!

If they say anything about it, tell them "The Hermit made me do it!"

The true danger is when liberty is nibbled away, for expedience, and by parts. --Edmund Burke