There Are Things....

that I "forget" about every single time we move...I call this selective memory loss due to moving trauma.

Like I forget how annoying it is to get utilities setup; particularly since these particular utility companies require your actual presence...no online capabilities.  So we get to take a day out of our insanely busy week next week to run down and get everything setup in our names.

Okay, I'm not too overly annoyed at that...consider it a small break; a daycation of sorts from all the moving madness.  And since we are packed up...with the exception of 3 pots/pans, the mattresses we're sleeping on and the table I'm sitting at...I honestly don't mind taking the day away.

This weekend we are finishing with the emptying of the basement and storage space under the deck.  Pulling everything up to the deck and covering with tarps...hopefully the weather holds decently for this move.  I really don't want to move in the rain again.  Right now it's looking as if there is some possible.

Alas, I will let you be for the weekend (after this of course)...hope the sun shines on your BBQs and you remember the reason for the long weekend.

Ugh....Just Ugh!

I swear, going over the budget and working out the numbers is going to be the death of me.  Why in the world I ever thought a career in Finance would work out is beyond me.

Math R hard.

I hates it.

It is not my precious...it's a filthy little hobbits.

Okay...geek-freak out complete.

The good news is that I've pretty well got everything worked out.  Thankfully.  Or I would have eventually found myself offering up a child sacrifice to Mammon.

Oh and the gofundme is gone.  We will do it all on our own.  It is our responsibility to deal with.

Also a decision that was made after seeing how a friend in "desperate" need whined about how though the need that was not a need but a want was met, it was not met fast enough to suit.  This hurt because I assisted in meeting some of the "need" and did a pass on items for my own spawns' holiday to do so (it was only two books worth but still).  It also brought to light (because it finally happened in a way that hurt) that we overlook our own needs so often that it puts us in a bind, like now.  A fiver or ten spot here and there adds up...and after looking over the financials from last year, I realized how many of those went elsewhere and not to our dwindling savings.

Not this year.

No, we won't be going full selfish mode.  But we will do a double check on where we stand before we offer help from now on.  There will be deep thought put into monetary donations from this point on.

That being said....next week a trip into town with several bags of outgrown but entirely serviceable clothing will be made so that they may find their way into the donation bin.  There will, hopefully, be several boxes of kitchenware and the likes as well.

The purge is underway.

(P.S.  Click an ad if you would please....you don't have to buy anything...you don't even have to look if you don't want...but your click might, just might, help my adsense account reach the minimum for the first time EVER.)

End of the Year Bitchy Post....

Just gonna lay all the gripey things that have been bothering me out there on the line.

2013's most annoying things for OzM:

1.  Family knowing that other family members are struggling, heartsick and just having a rough time in general but turning a completely blind eye to the issue and remaining self-absorbed and ignoring their own obligations to said family member(s).

2.  The "my shit don't stink" people.

3.  Having your intelligence questioned because you don't believe the way someone else does (on any number of things; not necessarily religion).

4.  Waiting and waiting on karmic payback.

5.  Finally:  Those that forever scam the system but come out smelling like roses regardless of how many levels of crap they've dove into while those that follow the rules and do the right thing are forever being screwed over....and over....and over.

Okay...now that that hissy fit is over (brought to you by so many things)....what are your plans for 2014?

Still working out the bare bones of ours.  Budget is being worked on as incoming numbers have changed in the past month.  Outgoing numbers are relatively the same but we're upping the amount paid in on the vehicles in hopes of wiping that out sooner (especially since the Durango is just a very expensive yard decoration right now...see gofundme goo to the left and if you feel the need to help out, thanks...if not, still thanks).  Credit reports are being pulled at the end of January and being gone over with a fine tooth comb as I've be remiss and not done that since some accounts were paid off.

Oh and nagging will commence soon....Tanker has not been as active in jostling the VA over treatment delays as he should.  That will be changing...rapidly....as he is constantly in pain, despite meds, and has "numb" episodes more and more often.  Not exactly conducive to healing.  I kinda figure since we fall into some sort of gray area where we make too much for help, but not enough to do more than bail out the leaking boat with a teaspoon, and he's not rated at 100% (which is a requirement for most of the aid programs out there) that the VA should at least get him going to the point that pain isn't an issue holding him back from getting back to work (which is what he wants).  Gonna be rough on him though as they want him to go back through physical therapy (because it worked soooo well the first time...note the sarcasm).

And I'm on the j-o-b hunt again (still but upping the search).  Positive thoughts there would be greatly appreciated.

Alas, such is life.

Here's to hoping the next year is kinder to us all!

Resolutions....

I don't really do well with them, so I tend to not make any that are vitally important.

This year, however, I am making a resolution to strengthen my resolve.  I do well with things at the beginning of the program but as time lags on I'm easily distracted....oh, shiny!....I'm hoping this year will be different.  I'm hoping that having a "plan" will help me stay on track (ha!) and that Tanker will call me out on any straying from "the plan."  Because I would really, really love to write next year's New Year post from a farm of our own.

Really...sincerely...hopefully.

Happiest of Holidays....

A challenge:

turn off the TV, turn off the news, take a break from the sources of information on the interwebz that bring you stress.

Spend the next 3-4 days focusing on you and yours.

Take the time to tell them that you love them. (Even if they intentionally drive you bat shit crazy.)

Take the breather, refresh your spirit and make your resolutions (if you do) for the next year.

Come back into the fight swinging.

Much Love,

Jess

Be Thankful.....

for the freedoms you still have, the roof over your head (shelter from the storm), the food at your table (no matter how much or how little), the family (not always blood relations) and friends that hold a space in your heart and the opportunity of tomorrow.

Remember there are those that have not a one of those blessings.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Adieu 2012....

'tis the annual turning of the calendar...and much has changed.

No need to review the year; plenty of others will do just that.

No need to preview the next; I make no predictions because our world is now too volatile and unpredictable.

I make no resolutions; they are too easy to break or forget.

We simply continue along on the path we've been traveling...making adjustments to the navigation as needed.

I hope that 2013 finds you, my readers and friends, in a place that you are happy and comfortable...the whole year through.

Christmas Eve Ramblings....

for me tonight.

Tonight I think on all that has happened, in just the past few months.  These things...things I was (and still am) wholly unprepared for...taunt me.  The fact I am a perpetual researcher only makes these things worse.

Youngest screamer was recently diagnosed with a heart defect...nothing overly serious, yet.  It has the potential to become serious, therefore requires monitoring for the rest of his life.  This, though I found myself not prepared for it, has not been the worst news handed down lately.

My father, not the world's best parent but certainly the better of the two I have, was diagnosed last week with small cell lung cancer.  Talk about a blow.  Pops is normally a healthy guy but has been battling a "lung infection" since the beginning of November.  Doc finally got worried enough about it to order extra tests when Pops presented with a 27lb (17%) weigh loss in a 3 week time period.

Sometimes, knowing too much is a bad thing.  The siblings are blissfully unaware as of yet as to the seriousness of the situation because they aren't like me...they don't research and they aren't here to see the VERY prominent changes in Pops (they've not seen him since August).  I know I should wait until Pops' appointment with the oncologist in January before I start getting gung-ho...but it's not in my nature.  So now I sit, with researched and firsthand knowledge, and wonder...when do I tell them that January 9th may not be a rosy day?

Pops stayed here at the 'Stead this past weekend to mind pups, kittahs and chickens for us while we visited the siblings and in-laws in KY.  I took him home today...the 1.5 hour drive was not in any way, shape or form comfortable for him as he has been having rather sharp pains in the area the main tumor is located for a couple of weeks but has not said anything to anyone until I (being the alien child) blasted him with questions last night upon our arrival home.  You see, we were in KY when he got the news...Mom called to tell me, then proceeded to have me inform my siblings.  Coward.

And so I sit, with the knowledge that next year has the potential to be the most life changing year of my 35 years, and I try to make myself embrace the holiday cheer that my children are oozing.  Maybe after I finally have that good, long cry that has been building since last Thursday.  Maybe.

Job Huntin'....Again

Yes, I still have the job at McD's...but let's face it...I'm the breadwinner now and minimum wage ain't winning bread.  I've not worked since mid-October due to a SURPRISE pregnancy followed promptly by an even bigger SURPRISE miscarriage.  No worries, I'm alright with it (mentally and physically) as I had zero time to even get excited or think about the prospect of another screamer roaming the world.  However, it did require some leave from work.

Top that joyous fun of with taking youngest screamer to the doc late last month for a random cough/cold/bug thing only to get told "hey, I'm sending you to a Pediatric Cardiologist"...good times folks, good times.  Of course, now we're in a rush to get everything with youngest screamer squared away before the TriCare runs out at the end of March and my crappy McD's insurance kicks in.  I should point out here, I will be working for insurance and gas money only if I don't find something better.

On average, a good full paycheck runs about $326 or so (give or take $50) every 2 weeks...insurance will run me $157.52 every 2 weeks...gas about $60 or so (depending on price fluctuations, etc) every two weeks.  That leaves less than $110 every two weeks to pay bills and get groceries.  You see, working for insurance...this will be the theme song of the country soon.  Oh and I should point out also....this is the minimum amount of coverage I can opt for.  Which also means co-pays on EVERYTHING and huge, massive deductibles.  The fun just keeps rolling on in!

But, we're still alive...still standing...and still holding it together.  For that, I'm thankful.

Now, I've got to go make a list of folks to call after the holiday so all checkups (eyes and ears for the blind and deaf in the house) can be done and done before all hell breaks loose.

Happy "We've Come to Convert You Savages" Day...or as most of you know it....Happy Thanksgiving!!


MATURE CONTENT....NOT SAFE FOR WORK (but funny as hell).

A New Year Approaches...

according to the calendar at least.  Don't know about you, but my ever increasing sense of "whoa, wait a minute there bud" is...well, ever increasing.  Having spent the last few months in a slightly further removed from the rest of it bubble (physically at least) and sort of watching the downward spiral from a different view, then proceeding to allow my love of history and a modern culture ADD-fueled comparison to take over...things are most definitely ticking toward BOOM vs crash.  Implosion of the loudest kind, I do believe.  No, I do not look forward to it...my German is not good enough just yet and that skill is one that is necessary for surviving in a land where German is the language spoken.

Of course, one collapse will string along others in this modern interconnected world of ours.  Who will be left standing unscathed?  None.  Even the most closed countries rely on some other country for something, not a one is self-sufficient.  It's the domino effect in full force...I wonder if it would look similar from space...a bunch of countries tilting one after another until the last one clatters to a halt.  That would be a design worth looking at.  Frightening, yet still intriguing.

As it stands, I've decided that no one is ever fully prepared.  No one.  While our stocks and supplies will last a goodly time and my sketchy German is enough to squeak by, we will never be fully prepared for the unpredictability of the future...that's why it's called unpredictable.  Heck, even the meteorologists (once pretty good at predicting weather) are getting a workout lately.  Ma Nature is showing them all who is boss and refuses to fall in line with what is "average" lately.

Example:  The lovely European snowfall that tangled up Holiday travelers.  Yeah, light snow expected my ass!  (see previous post for "light snow" pictures)

Further Example of the unpredictability of the future:  Last night a sewage line burst in our building at about 10 p.m., flooding over half the basement and community laundry room with raw sewage.  Storage for each apartment in the building is located...can you guess it?...in the basement.  No fewer than 8 of our neighbor families have spent some part of today trying salvage what can be salvaged from the poo.  We got lucky...the pipe was at the other end of the building.

Now, as one that makes some sort of an attempt at learning from the past, Further Example has prompted me to do what I had merely talked about doing all spring/summer.  Fork over cash for the purchase of shelving units for our storage area.  Will it keep stuff from being damaged in the event of another poo-fall or (as I've found out recently) spring thaw flooding?  No, not all of it...but it'll buy us time.  Time to get to the non-poo covered items and bring them to safety.

Any recent events in your day-to-day prompt you to action lately?

Happy Thanksgiving...

and safe travels to those traveling.

Personally, we're sitting tight and entertaining a gaggle (or is it passel?) of friends and neighbors with my uber fattening cooking. Yeah baby!

If you get bored with football during Turkey Day...read these...should get you good and fired up.

TSA idiots Blog #1

TSA idiots Blog #2

Some post-Holiday Randomness...

Good holiday overall here...the littles didn't get spoiled with battery operated goo, just some good ol' fashioned games (checkers, connect 4, etc), some puzzles, matchbox cars, crayons, coloring books, notebooks, pencils and S-A-N-T-A brought an EasyBake oven. 

Go on, say what...yes, the screamers are boys...yes, they got an EasyBake...why you ask...well, they asked for it.  And it was really the only thing they asked for.  I take that back, the youngest DID ask for a real magic wand so he could turn his brother into a frog and step on him, but I couldn't find one of those anywhere.  So EasyBake it was.  Totally cool with me though, since I can work on their baking skills without risking the oldest shoving the youngest headfirst into a super-heated stove and visa versa (truthfully the visa versa is what would totally happen here...the youngest is a spitfire).  Looking forward to actually using it, haven't yet 'cause I'm an evil mommy (you just don't know).

On another note, I'm patiently waiting for some of this snow that is supposedly in the area to start showing up.  Jet stream is hooked just above us (literally) and keeping all that fluffy stuff north about 30 miles...30 miles...sigh.  We got just enough on Christmas Day to whiten things up, but it was gone by nightfall.  Unlike so many, I love the stuff...can totally rip up the road in it...and would so much rather have it than just the butt chilling cold we've had.  Give me a reason for the cold (aka snow on the ground) rather just having me freeze my rearend off, if you please.  This freakin' global warming is giving me frostbite! ;P

I hope you lot used the pre-season sales to stock up on some of the baking essentials out there.  Had some pretty decent prices on flour and sugar in these parts (at one point it was $.99 for a 4lb bag of sugar...killer deal for us).  Right now, the pantry is loaded and we're pretty much good to go.  Could use some more powdered milk but we'll survive until the 1st I believe.  Did score some pouch tuna for a little under 1/2 price on the last grocery trip though, with the assistance of a bunch of cent off and bogo coupons...poor cashier just didn't know what hit her.  I used the 'savings' to grab up some pouch salmon and still stayed under budget....which is a really big deal for me since we are now off the food stamps/ebt and going it all on our own.  A step forward, I think.

Which leads me to a whole different kind of rant...we make too much for assistance (not a gripe per se).  Only because the spouse gets chow hall allowance.  That puts us right under the line, by about $30 which isn't worth the red tape I'd have to fight through in order to keep it.  Yup, if it weren't for that, we'd still have the same amount of $$ coming in that was coming in when he was a civie making $8hr.  Scary isn't it?  Oh, yeah...for those that use the "you get benefits" argument...that includes all benefits but health insurance (since I can't really put a price to that one yet...what with the fantabulous healthcare plan that our great leader and his minions will be providing the civilian world with...please note the sarcasm).

Should be an interesting next few months on this continent...just keeping my eyes open for things that "may" impact us (being that we are in a rather interesting position now) will keep me busy.  Top it off with all the stuff that I KNOW (Afghanistan, Iran, Korea, etc) will impact us and well...it makes me want to just not look at the news anywhere...online, on the boob tube, in the paper.  Unfortunately, I can't...it's just not in me to turn a blind eye and live in the dark.

If ya'll don't mind (and I know you don't because it is MY blog after all) I'll likely be ranting, sharing, discussing some school related stuff here.  Seems my "Environmentlism professor" thinks I'm a meat-eating, carbon producing, Earth killing moron...2 outta 3 ain't wrong, but I'm no moron.  Break ends on the 4th with the first real assignment being about Urbanization...yeah, interesting and essential stuff (SARCASM).

Well, that's it folks...out for the day...unless I get a wild hair up my rear and decide to come back later...you've been warned.

Happiest of Holidays

to you and yours. May the coming year see you better off than you are now (in whatever way you wish the most) and bring you a joy that is both loved and unexpected (whatever it may be).




As the storm closes in (you chose which one), I take stock of the supplies and find myself prepared for pert near anything...my hope for the coming year is that you feel and find the same sort of security and peace.



I hope your Winter Solstice was bright, your Chanukah enlightening, your Christmas is merry and your Boxing Day full...Blessings all!

Happy Turkey Day

to one and all...enjoy your bird (or pig if that's your thing) and all the trappings. May it settle well, may you enjoy the company you'll be keeping and may this year's harvest be pale in light of next year's (we can hope, right?)!!

Happiest of 4ths to you all...

as I sit here in the cloudy, grey and typical fine MO afternoon (typical for the 4th at least). Pondering the grilled (too much heat under it) chicken that Pop made and the runny baked beans I made (never said I was perfect...or did I?) along with the cool breezes blowing. I sit here listening to the rain sprinkling down, the frogs croaking and the birds singing. Little ones making a racket and biting flies attacking me. Damn those flies.

Wishing all a Happy 4th. Hope your fireworks are better than ours (though if one of the redneck neighbors manages to catch himself on fire this year, the show should be entertaining at least) and your beers are cold.

A bit stretched out...

right now! What with the summer time upon us, familial trips (out of state, in state, camping...the list goes on), school for me and now the garden popping up all over...I'm pulling myself a little thin all around.

I'll try to keep up regular posting, but you must forgive me if I go a few days (or a week) in between. There is so much for me to get done before the spousal unit takes off (sometime soon) to post unknown (as of yet) and the oldest screamer starts school of his own (now I'm thinkin' it wasn't such a bad idea!!) that I've gotta cut somewhere and unfortunately it's here.

I'll still be around, just not as much. I'll still post irrelevant information, just not as much. Heck, might even be a useful gem or two in here somewhere at some point.

Catch ya'll soon, I hope!!

Glutton for Punishment...

bright and early (well, before it even gets bright actually) in the morning, the spousal unit, the offspring and myself will be wheeling our way southeasterly to KY for a visit with the in-laws. It will be the first time in a year that they've seen the screamers...not by my hand, believe me...it's their own choice.

So here I am, less than three days after a harrowing flight schedule hitting the traveling trail once again. See, I love this...I could so be a nomad. Wonder if that is a paid profession?

Well....I will be able to at least be online there for a bit. Have to actually since I have class stuff to do anyway. Might drop a line or two telling you how miserable I am, lol.

Have a good long weekend all!!

On this day...

the day before the much ballyhoo'd Earth Day, I want to preach on 'green'.

If you don't watch TV, you're missing out on nothing except being deluged with commercials on greening up your living space, reducing your carbon footprint and instructions on how to help reverse global warming. Newsflash: Dear Greenies, it is NOT in your best interest to try to undo that which Ma Nature herself has set in motion. That's right I said it.

I do believe in Global Warming, evidence of a warming trend in general is overwhelming...I DO NOT believe that it is entirely man-made or reversible (in other words, Mr. Gore your ideas are not my belief). Why? Because it is a cycle that this blue space marble we reside on goes through. It cools down, it heats up, please repeat as necessary...insignificant species that do not have the ability to adapt disappear and become fossils, oil and pretty rocks. It's a cycle that takes way longer than we (ie humans) have been in residence. A cycle that we are only just scratching the surface of with our paltry scientific studies.

However, like most things, we (ie humans) tend to look to the easiest explanation (big spirit in the sky plays in mud and makes man, human advances warm the earth to dangerous levels, etc...okay, I'm sure I touched a nerve somewhere with one of those) and look for an uber complicated way to 'fix' things. Please don't fix my section, I'd rather not see the damage you can do.

This does not go to say that I believe that we can't do something about the situation. No, far from it. We can practice sustainability. Self-reliance of a sort.

Stop with the whole buying of boxed goods that take more energy to process than you receive from them, stop with the using of chemical laden products that just get tossed in the garbage and buried/stacked/dumped somewhere that screws with ground water, learn to garden responsibly (ie compost for your own fertilizer, use gray/rain water, pick the flippin' pests off by hand)...the list goes on and on folks. It's actually a quite logical list. Think of how you would handle the problem in the first place then do the opposite...we've been trained (for the most part) over the years to do that which is exactly wrong for living a life free.

Break the cycle, do something unexpected...don't 'go green' for the sake of going green...go sustainable for your own peace of mind. Knowing that you don't 'need' to run to (insert whatever store you want here) to pick up dinner, diapers, bug killer (there is a reason they are there after all...think cycle of nature again) and whatever thing you don't really need in order to live is a massive relief. This again cycles back to prepping, long term. By retraining your brain to think 'out of the box' that it has been forced in for all these years, you are in essence training yourself to survive.

Learning to save seeds (good ones, heirloom...not genetically enhanced), learning to garden responsibly (square foot is a good place for beginners to start, imo), learning to do without a disposable lifestyle....these are tiny, tiny baby steps to becoming truly green and self-sufficient.

If you must celebrate Earth Day, plant a FRUIT or NUT producing tree suitable to your zone (decorative trees are pretty, sure...but can you eat them?). Don't make a run to the store for disposable diapers, make a run for cloth and save yourself some future visits. Look up your local nursery in the phone book and ask about heirloom plants that haven't been tampered with OR find a good heirloom seed company (start with www.rareseeds.com) for your garden. Start small, read up and apply...look at that, you're on your way to reducing your carbon footprint and becoming self-sustainable. Easy, no?

If you are reading this....

HELP!! I am being held hostage against my will by two little boys covered in dye and waving eggs on spoons at me! My fingers are probably multi-colored and I am certain that I reek of vinegar.

At this moment, I am most likely using one of the following phrases:

'Please don't drink the dye'
'Put the spoon down son'
'Mom, I hope you weren't attached to that particular cup'
'Boy, I will break your fingers if you flip that spoon at me one more time'
'Do not encourage them Dad'

I am likely stressed but laughing and dotted with a myriad of color. A migraine is probably forming in the back of my skull that I won't feel until sometime later tonight. I am probably sneaking glasses of wine behind my mother's back. I might be taking pictures of the chaos, so be prepared.

Hope your egg dyeing adventures are as interesting as mine...I am resigned, no help is on the way....this wasn't in the bailout.

This Weekend....

I am being a sheeple....well, at least for the rest of the weekend that is. I'm not looking at the news until Monday morning (provided the world doesn't end by then)...I am going to spend my time tonight and tomorrow with my head stuck in the proverbial sand.

Why? 'Cause my brain needs an analytic break so I don't have a psychotic one. The 'news' of AIG, Obama's economic saving bill (please note that all this is typed with fantastic sarcasm) and any number of other wonderful things happening right now will have to wait while I spend a blissful day of ignorance pampering myself. My sore muscles and tired brain demand it.

I'll be back, hopefully rested and feeling fine (I do feel fine, just brain dead)...ready to roll with the punches and add my own dose of reality to a world gone mad. Ya'll enjoy what remains of the day and tomorrow...if it all goes to hell in a handbasket, won't be much we can do but ride the waves anyway...right?

Psst...there's a little music down below...a glimpse of my own playlist (not all of it by far)...Enjoy!