In the End....

Currently, I'm chatting with a friend...brother of the childhood friend that drowned on April 21st.  Her body was finally recovered on the 2nd and they are headed today to make final arrangements.  There seems to be a sort of power struggle going on as to what should be done and what certain other family members want done.  Childhood Friend (hereafter known as CF) was unemployed and without any form of life insurance at the time of her passing...so the financial burden of final expenses falls to her family.  Her 'husband' (they were legally married, I just personally do not think highly of him and haven't since high school) is most likely also unemployed (I do not know this for sure but that tends to be his boon in life) and has little to no money to help.

I'm baffled (but not really) at the idea the family is fighting over arrangements (I'm sure some are wanting to go to the excess end while others are attempting to be practical yet still grieve in a proper Southern fashion).

Here's the philosophical:

She's not there, here, etc.  The final arrangements are for family and show.

Here's the practical:

Keep it affordable.  There are debts involved that shouldn't but probably will fall to her children...who are just starting out in life.

The family has set up a memorial fund to try to get some help with the expense, of course.  And I'm sure that if even half the people that new CF donated even just a little that a very nice service could be had.  However, CF's brother knows that the reins need to be taken now in an effort to make sure that things stay in control.  I feel for him...I most honestly do.

All of this has prompted us (me and Tanker) to review our own plans and, knowing what I know from Dad's funeral (i.e. cost), up both of our life insurance policies.  The point of having them is to insure that our expenses would be paid, debt (that isn't cancelled out by death) be paid and our children have at least a little something monetarily to start out on should we pass before they are of age (hellooooo trust fund).  While it shouldn't matter (the money) we all know it does.  The very least we can do is leave the screamers with less shaky ground to stand on financially.  And a bit of positive in a time of not so positive.

Because in the end, none of it is for you...but it is about what you leave behind.

The Past Month...

has been a lesson in what's really important and preparedness.

Losing Dad was...not devastating.  I know...weird, right?

You see, I've been preparing for it since December.  Survival rates of SCLC patients can't/shouldn't really be called survival rates...more of  "it's possible that you might make it this long" rate.  There is no survival...it takes you eventually.  End of story.

So the past month has been more of a helping others deal with it (screamers...particularly the eldest...have been strongly affected.  They adored their Pawpaw.), helping Mom go through years of hording (more of that to come later this month) and finding a "new normal."  Fighting the urge to call Dad and tell him about the hilariousness that is our house, seeing something online and thinking "I should tell Dad about that" and, today's challenge, getting his FB pages (yeah, he had two...lol) set to memorial.  New normal.  I don't like it.

But it's not my job to like it.

The past month has also brought about massive changes to our lifestyle...huge.

Smoking is done...the particular brand of SCLC that Dad had has never been found in non-smokers...and just his having it moves my chances of having it WAY on up there.  No thanks.  Quitting with the tobacco will take the risk down a bit.

Dietary changes...we had fallen into the horrible habit of convenience foods again.  Eating junk and feeling like crap.  No more.  We're back on track with food and dropping weight again.

Fitness changes...we take the screamers and four-legged fiends on nightly walks now.  Anywhere from a mile to 2 on steep, hilly terrain.  We'll do that for a few more months, adding length to the walks and eventually tossing packs on our backs too.

Time changes...there is considerably less time spent online, watching TV and playing video games.  We're spending time with each other, reading and, STILL, unpacking.  We're planning for next Summer and trips we intend to take, this Fall's camping expeditions and a mess of other things.

We're redoing our wills, looking at doing the whole pre-arrangement thing and redoing that lovely paperwork organization so that finding anything of vital importance will be as easy as opening a drawer.  Basic things that pretty much everyone I know just tends to put off and not worry about.

It's been a month of changes...

Heartbroke...

My daddy passed on earlier today.

I'm thankful for the time we had with him after the cancer diagnosis...and will miss him terribly.