20 days......

and a wake-up.

The countdown continues to clip on at a rapid pace.

Tanker is itching to finish packing up but I'm holding him back with both hands.  I'm not ready to pack everything but the cast iron up...I like my little non-stick skillet for making my eggs every morning.  I like that I can just wash it out, toss it on the drying rack and walk away without fear of rust setting in because I didn't grease it.  I'm lazy.  I readily admit that until I get at least a full cup of coffee in me it is best to not trust me with the care and feeding of anything important.  How the screamers survived thus far is beyond me.

As it is the house has been pretty well packed up for a month (probably more as at one point days began bleeding into one another as the mass of boxes grew).  Granted, I still have way more t-shirts unpacked than needed but that is neither here nor there (we will not discuss the whole t-shirt and heels addictions...thank you very much).  The kitchen cabinets (with the exception of the spice/oil cabinet) are empty; the books (oh, my beloved books) are all packed away.  I am stuck with the Kindle (not bad, but not a book).

Tanker and I are discussing foster/adoption still...no preaching on the "dangers" please, I hear that enough from my mother; which is why we no longer discuss it with her.  It's something we feel like we need to do in a way.  So we're looking to start the required courses shortly after the move.  Not a word to Mom until it's all said and done so I don't have to hear "how can you do that to your children?" again.  I love my mother...but she is the epitome of what is wrong with too many....do good for others for the recognition and selfish reasons but to hell with it all if it interferes with your plans or life in ways you don't want.  (Insert snide remark about not being very Christian here...you decide 'cause I'm just not feeling repetition today.)

So here we are...moseying along by the lake for a bit longer...me wishing I could remember which box I put the seeds in (I could totally start some and them be alright for the move), Tanker counting down the days until he no longer is driving 1.5hrs each way for class.  Oh the gas to be saved!

The next 20 days just can't fly fast enough!

(Click that big ad that is specifically targeted to whatever your search history gives it...if you don't mind!  Please and thank you!!)

In the End....

Currently, I'm chatting with a friend...brother of the childhood friend that drowned on April 21st.  Her body was finally recovered on the 2nd and they are headed today to make final arrangements.  There seems to be a sort of power struggle going on as to what should be done and what certain other family members want done.  Childhood Friend (hereafter known as CF) was unemployed and without any form of life insurance at the time of her passing...so the financial burden of final expenses falls to her family.  Her 'husband' (they were legally married, I just personally do not think highly of him and haven't since high school) is most likely also unemployed (I do not know this for sure but that tends to be his boon in life) and has little to no money to help.

I'm baffled (but not really) at the idea the family is fighting over arrangements (I'm sure some are wanting to go to the excess end while others are attempting to be practical yet still grieve in a proper Southern fashion).

Here's the philosophical:

She's not there, here, etc.  The final arrangements are for family and show.

Here's the practical:

Keep it affordable.  There are debts involved that shouldn't but probably will fall to her children...who are just starting out in life.

The family has set up a memorial fund to try to get some help with the expense, of course.  And I'm sure that if even half the people that new CF donated even just a little that a very nice service could be had.  However, CF's brother knows that the reins need to be taken now in an effort to make sure that things stay in control.  I feel for him...I most honestly do.

All of this has prompted us (me and Tanker) to review our own plans and, knowing what I know from Dad's funeral (i.e. cost), up both of our life insurance policies.  The point of having them is to insure that our expenses would be paid, debt (that isn't cancelled out by death) be paid and our children have at least a little something monetarily to start out on should we pass before they are of age (hellooooo trust fund).  While it shouldn't matter (the money) we all know it does.  The very least we can do is leave the screamers with less shaky ground to stand on financially.  And a bit of positive in a time of not so positive.

Because in the end, none of it is for you...but it is about what you leave behind.

What the Polar Vortex Has Taught Us....

Us being me and mine.

The Polar Vortex (hereafter referred to as PV) has shown us a multitude of things (and no, it's not "over" as so many have been saying...ie weather persons locally).

It has taught us that the decision to not buy this house (and to move closer to Tanker's chosen educational institution) is a really, really, really good decision.  It's not the ice or snow...no really big problems with the road per se...it's the wind.  The wind this year has been something else.  No big surprise.  PV has brought several days of doozy winds.  PV bringing said winds has allowed us to learn that this house, newly "built" on top of an old foundation (original foundation is strong, btw), leaks like a freakin' sieve.

The "energy efficient" windows leak (improper installation or insulation...likely both) so badly you can sit and watch the mini blinds sway.  There is a nice, rather large, gap between the floor and the baseboard in the dining room area that sends a breeze flowing across the floor when the wind is blowing from that direction (currently PV has some nice gusty winds blowing from all directions...she's bipolar).

The finish work is shit in this house as well.  Carpet (new and expensive) is coming up at all the thresholds, the "floating" wood floor is floating alright...you should see the waves when you walk across it...drywall tape and seams popping through the paint job (oh, which was applied over drywall dust so it has interesting texture in some spots), there is no caulk around any of the bath related stuffs that should be caulked, the bathroom sinks both leak and I can't use (because I can't get to them due to the size of the refrigerator) a good chunk of the kitchen cabinets.  Poor layout and more.

I know...it seems like I'm reaching...but for the price we pay monthly AND the end asking price on this place, I frankly expect it to be worth it.  It is not.  I giggle because this is supposed to be the landlord/builder's crown jewel...his big ticket building.  Prime vacation home property.  On the surface, it's beautiful and wonderful.  Just what many would want in a vacation home.

PV came along and showed us all the things that a vacation home owner would not have noticed just yet.  And I think that landlord/builder knew that these would be issues that would pop up eventually...probably the reason he wasn't overly keen on a one year lease (he wanted 6 months).  I'm keeping track of issues and will hand him the list when we inform him (in May or June) that we will not be purchasing.  Will he be happy?  Likely not as his crown jewel with flaws will be on the market in a neighborhood with houses the same size with more amenities (hello, private dock and a garage with more land) and a cheaper sell price.

The screamers have been a hard sale with the next move....they love the school (as do I) and are tired of moving (as am I....for now) but they've come around.  They enjoy being able to go out and do things....we don't get to do many things now because of location AND having to make sure that extra cash is always available in the event of the one working vehicle needing something/anything so Tanker can get to and from school.  So, sharing with them the monetary and thing doing benefits was a necessity.  It worked.  They are on board and ready to go now....patience is not their forte.

As it is, the hunt is sorta on for a place in the desired area.  There are several that would work...now to just hope we have the same options come time to move!

(P.S.  Click an ad please!  'Cause you lot are rocking this whole adsense thing.)

Not Quite Spring...

but things around here are hopping along like it is!

Hens are laying, roos are crowing, some random bulbs are poking through (despite the chill in the air).  I spent the past few days scouring reviews on nurseries and decided on two for our much desired trees and berry plants.  Wood for the raised garden beds has been bought, as has a greenhouse...seeds bought and charted for getting them started at a (hopefully) good time.

The screamers even have a touch of spring fever...tomorrow they will be burning off a lot of that excess energy.  Whether they like it or not.  We've all been cooped up inside for too long.

How about you?  Spring fever bug bit yet?

A Little Taste...

of the mild insanity that I live with...granted video is a couple of years old...things have not calmed down.  Things have not changed much except the screamers are of larger build now.  This, folks, is my life.



And yes, that's me FB...and no, I don't randomly friend anyone.  'Tis set to private except for the things I want the world to see.  Like this.  It tends to keep people away apparently.

Job Huntin'....Again

Yes, I still have the job at McD's...but let's face it...I'm the breadwinner now and minimum wage ain't winning bread.  I've not worked since mid-October due to a SURPRISE pregnancy followed promptly by an even bigger SURPRISE miscarriage.  No worries, I'm alright with it (mentally and physically) as I had zero time to even get excited or think about the prospect of another screamer roaming the world.  However, it did require some leave from work.

Top that joyous fun of with taking youngest screamer to the doc late last month for a random cough/cold/bug thing only to get told "hey, I'm sending you to a Pediatric Cardiologist"...good times folks, good times.  Of course, now we're in a rush to get everything with youngest screamer squared away before the TriCare runs out at the end of March and my crappy McD's insurance kicks in.  I should point out here, I will be working for insurance and gas money only if I don't find something better.

On average, a good full paycheck runs about $326 or so (give or take $50) every 2 weeks...insurance will run me $157.52 every 2 weeks...gas about $60 or so (depending on price fluctuations, etc) every two weeks.  That leaves less than $110 every two weeks to pay bills and get groceries.  You see, working for insurance...this will be the theme song of the country soon.  Oh and I should point out also....this is the minimum amount of coverage I can opt for.  Which also means co-pays on EVERYTHING and huge, massive deductibles.  The fun just keeps rolling on in!

But, we're still alive...still standing...and still holding it together.  For that, I'm thankful.

Now, I've got to go make a list of folks to call after the holiday so all checkups (eyes and ears for the blind and deaf in the house) can be done and done before all hell breaks loose.

Happy "We've Come to Convert You Savages" Day...or as most of you know it....Happy Thanksgiving!!


MATURE CONTENT....NOT SAFE FOR WORK (but funny as hell).

We Ask Too Much...

We is general here...don't get your knickers in a twist.

We ask too much of our children. We thrust them into learning/school younger and younger. Pre-school, Pre-K, Kindergarten...all before they are even 6 years old. We take the joy out of childhood, eliminate the ability to learn as they please by forcing them into rule-laden mini societies that put further pressure on them to conform, befriend and become something that they are not.

They must keep up or be labeled and put in special classes which labels them further in the eyes of their peers. They are relegated to small desks and tables, expected to contain their boundless child energy and spoken to as if they are dirt or stupid if they don't. They are molded into mini-adults well before a time when they are mentally or physically ready to be adults.

We ask too much of our children when we micro-manage their childhoods. Overscheduling of team and individual sports, extra classes in whatever to help them "get ahead", scores and scores of activities to keep them busy so that we don't have to parent. TV, video games, computer access become babysitters with no emotional warmth or parental love.

We ask our children to be more than they are...children. Childhood is supposed to be a time of encouragement, growth and exploration. One where the rules are simple, not complex and in direct violation with everything it means to be a child.

A child will learn when they are ready to learn, they will play and learn at the same time if given the chance. Who cares really that "your baby can read" or whatever skill it may be that you feel they MUST know? I don't. Mine can't...not full books. And I'm not upset or disappointed or calling a tutor in for help. They will learn, when they are ready to learn. Focus on them being children. Let them play, let them get dirty, let them be and they will constantly surprise you with the information that they absorb and release.

What prompted this minor outburst? Children feel and understand far more than they are given credit for. They are capable of complex emotions and thoughts. Their world is not regulated to only what you see. Take the time to get to know your child...you may be surprised at what you find.

The Waiting Game....

Patience is not my virtue. Just ask the screamers. I only ask twice. Third time gets the look, the change in tone of voice and either timeout or a butt whoopin' (usually the butt whoopin'). I tried that whole "be nice, no spanking, compromise" thing...I'm a fairly "crunchy" parent with the exception of the fact that I have no desire to compromise and/or negotiate with a three year old. I am the parent, what I say goes until you are old enough to move out and live on your own legally. This is not a democracy...this is a dictatorship.

That being said...I am now in the position of waiting. Waiting for orders to come down (still) as to where the spring will find us. Waiting for some overpaid bureaucrat to decide to push a button in some office somewhere that will send this information...oh, and change the Soldier's records (apparently he's still retired...imagine that)...so I can move forward. I don't like this spot, this being held in limbo.

True, it does have a few minor advantages. I can unload all of my unwanted crap onto strangers that will remain strange since there is no need to further try to integrate myself into a town that hasn't exactly welcomed us with open arms (really funny since my family has lived here in one form or another for generations). I do get to spend the time left here, however long that may be, working out ways to minimize the crud further so that there is less to worry about when moving day approaches. I have the time to let the littles spend more time with my parents...though I'm sure we will see more of them than the in-laws regardless of where orders take us (in-laws do NOT travel/visit...nice, eh?).

I also find myself doing something that I wouldn't have the chance to do if we weren't still waiting on bureaucratic monkeys. I am exploring the possibilities of each potential assignment. Learning via maps/blogs/news articles/research what to expect of the area around it. Not just to feed the hiking (see other blog) but for peace of mind. Desert, mountain, dense populations...I'm learning what I can about each and working on plans of action. While I wait...I gather in more ways than one. I also purge (see link to half.com).

I think this wait will be good for me...teach me to not expect accuracy in orders. Teach me that a little patience might be a good thing, though not the best.

A Lesson...

I was taught a lesson last night, by my own child. The eldest screamer was assisting in the pare down of toys. I was asking him to put away things that he didn't play with often, packing them up for future rotation. Nothing overly demanding like "we're giving these away" but he insisted that we do just that.

"I don't play with these and they just take up room."

I think...I might just have done something right raising this boy afterall.