Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Post #100 and Abusive Opinions

Wow...100! I imagine if I was a reliable, consistent poster I would have hit this milestone months ago...sorry, lol! At least I hit it, right?

Alas, nothing newsworthy from me today...just an opinion on a celebubrat issue that's been popping up in my news reading for a month. You got it...the beat down of Rhianna by her man CB. I see it this way (I say as I don my flameproof undies for the impending broiling I'll get...especially since this is a sensitive issue and I'm not particularly sensitive) it is getting press.

He got a booty call text (or something that ticked her off)...she got pissy and laid down an ultimatum that she didn't really mean along with a smack of her own....he hit back and because he is a man it was harder and caused way more damage (oh and it was several times more than her one because he just had to do better being a man and all)...things got ugly, he got charged, she went back after a couple of weeks of recovering so that she wouldn't be without the one she loved. Sounds very, very non-celebrity to me...sounds rather a lot like what happens every single freakin' day somewhere in the world.

Now the part that will get me roasted....she went back which I find incredibly STUPID. Love or not, you get no sympathy from me if you go back OVER AND OVER again just to get beat down one more time. I will help you once...if you choose to return, I will keep you in my prayers. But then again, I was raised a bit differently I guess. My dad hit my mother ONCE...note that ONCE...she hit him back, knocking his skinny ass into the hot water heater and knocking him out briefly. This happened before I was even a glimmer in Daddy's eye, but nearly 38yrs later he still hasn't raised a hand to her again.

Momma didn't raise an idiot...NO man/boy/whatever has ever hit me without repercussion (Dad included in this btw...the ONE time he raised a hand to me after I turned 16, he got a face full of wooden bat...flame away, you don't know the situation and I don't care to elaborate). Needless to say, it never ever happened again.

Women, do NOT be the victim over and over then expect other women like me to offer sympathy. Leave...NOW. Don't wait for the next fist to fly. If you can't or won't make a stand on your own, get yourself help. NOW. There are a gazillion support groups/homes/safehouses out there, use them for pete's sake. If you stay, you know what you are staying in. If you have children and choose to stay, hand them over to CPS now...it'll save them time, they won't have to do all that emergency paperwork when you're in the ICU or the morgue.

You can't change him. Sorry, you can't. He has to want to change and if he keeps hitting you and you keep taking it then he has no reason to change. But then again, you have to want to change yourself...don't be a doormat, punching bag, idiot...he doesn't love you if he beats you to a bloody pulp...sorry, he doesn't.

Don't believe me...watch Oprah on Thursday. Seems she's decided that she needs to do a full episode on the whole RiRi/CB situation in order to bring attention to something that has been making headlines for years...but the sheeple will watch and be properly outraged for a short time. Ratings will rise and not much more will be done. All the proper outrage for the rich, all the proper blissful ignorance of your neighbor.

1 comment:

Meadowlark said...

I'm just going to mention one tiny thing, just food for thought.

Imagine being a woman who didn't have your mother as a role model. And imagine that she has a constant tape playing in her head that she's not smart enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not this enough, not that enough.

Do you really think everything is peachy and then one day he just hits her? No, it's subtle, and insidious and it grows and she's pretty sure she misunderstood, it wasn't really a SHOVE and then she gets told again how stupid she is for thinking what she thought.

Meanwhile, no mom like yours. But she does have plenty of her "friends" telling her that THEY wouldn't stay. And that if she goes back it's her fault, and it just snowballs.

I mean, if she takes all the messages she's received until that day - that she can't make it on her own and is worthless - she will probably stay. He's a charmer and convinces her that it was a one time thing. And it was her fault anyway.

And she looks at her "fellow women" who tell her how strong they are and how "one hit and they'd be out of there" and she realizes that the voices are right..she is worthless because she didn't leave the first time. And the cycle continues.

I think it's pretty easy to say when either a) you haven't been there or b) you've been raised in such a way as to give you power. But if you've been raised to not trust your own opinions... to believe people when they say "you're fine. that didn't hurt" when you're injured... to believe that it's your fault when things happen, then you may not be so quick to leave.

Just my 37 cents.

The true danger is when liberty is nibbled away, for expedience, and by parts. --Edmund Burke