Saturday, February 28, 2009

Bad Mom/Wife/Person Confessions

The oldest screamer is back after a week in KY with family. I missed him, something fierce...for the first few days...then the youngest and myself settled into a nice quiet daily routine. The spouse disturbed us when he came in early from work, but other than that minor inconvenience the little and I were quite content to spend the day by ourselves.

It was a nice study in compatibility. I now see exactly where the tension comes from in this house. Well, not all of it...but a some of it. The oldest screamer lives life at full speed ahead, much like his momma. Unfortunately, this leads to power struggles, pert opinions and a sassy mouth...I really do try to control myself with the opinions and sass but feel that as the parent I have the right to power, right? ;P

Thursday was the most interesting day of the week. Ladies sewing 'class', a newcomer to the class and my strange opinions of our new Obama-nation. Throw in my not-so-popular theories on Micheal Phelps and pot (hey, who am I to condemn a 23yr old for experimenting with a mild mind altering substance...there are WAY worse things out there) and it made for a lively debate on the state of our country, why she (the newcomer) is in for a massive surprise when her 8yr old daughter gets older and how I would handle my own children toking. Let's just say that I don't think she much cared for my opinions. I sure missed my boy then...not that he would have a clue but the debate would have been much more interesting with my 5yr old son than it was with this sheeple.

Did you know, for instance, that the government would not do anything to make us raise our children in a manner that we don't agree with?

OH REALLY!! (sheeple, I cough discreetly) Heard of the zero to five plan? I ask with feigned curiosity.

No, she says.

Well, 'he' chattered about it on Tuesday when you were listening to him on the boob tube (gasp from her at the word boob being said in church, puh leeze).

I didn't hear that mentioned, she says defensively.

Then you weren't listening, I says shrugging my shoulders.

I don't believe it, her response when I explained some of the finer points of the plan, besides if that is what he said then maybe it is something we need...sounds like a good idea to me (I stare at her in disbelief).

Then with a sly smile at my mother (who KNOWS what is coming though she will still be shocked I say it out loud...in church) I say, you know a lot of people thought Hitler's ideas were good too at the beginning...welcome to Nazi America. Do be sure to tell me in four years how much you love the hell you're in.

Shock is plain on her face when I drop the convo (because she is flabbergasted, unable to form a complete sentence, at my Nazi salute and crazy smile) and continue to mangle a shirt on my machine. (note to self...don't get the giggles while working with finicky fabric).

At least the five year old would have continued the lively debate with gusto...despite not knowing what we were debating about. Gotta love that kid. He would have giggled his silly little head off at Mommy saluting the wrong way. Oh and my sarcastic tone gets him every single time. Dang, I missed this kid...for a little while.

4 comments:

Mayberry said...

Bwaaaaahahahaha! You b!tch slapped a sheeple! I love it Momma! Rock on.....

erniesjourney said...

Hehehehahahahehehe that was just the best! You go girl!!
Ernie

HermitJim said...

Oh Momma...you are just tooooo BAD! I love it, girl!

Ozark Momma said...

Thank ya much gentlemen...I aim to entertain, even if it is just myself for the most part!

The true danger is when liberty is nibbled away, for expedience, and by parts. --Edmund Burke