Confessions

With all the yuck going on in the US and world in general, I feel like saying something light-hearted and funny. Don't know that this will be it, but if nothing else it will give me something to work on in the future...right? Uh, a little support here!

I want to offer my confession now...a list of flaws that are so flippin' obvious that even I know about them. Maybe you'll find something we have in common or perhaps even just something to laugh at because I remind you of someone you know. Don't worry, I won't be offended. These are my flaws/quirks and I fully embrace them, even if I know I shouldn't.

*I watch an obscene amount of history/disaster related stuff. NGC, History and History International are my most favorite channels of all time. I'm a geek like that.

*I knit everywhere I go. Even church. Some people think it's rude, that I'm not listening to the sermon. Maybe, maybe not...it's my soul (see below).

*I fully enjoy religious debate. I thrive on it. My soul isn't your responsibility, besides I can read the Bible and interpret it myself thank you very much. This could stem from several things, mostly my love of tossing logic into situations that are completely illogical.

*I hate, deplore and despise doing dishes. I will wash silverware/utensils all day long. I have to force myself to even look at a sink full of anything else. As a matter of fact, I am silently bemoaning the fact that the sink is full right now. See, I should be doing dishes but embrace my quirks instead.

*I have a large stack of unfinished sewing projects that get no love. Quilt blocks, clothing for me...and to think, I going sewing every single Thursday with my mother and the ladies from church. I believe that is called procrastination or lazy (these words can and will be used interchangeably by my mother).

*I have a folder full of things I want to do in my own home and add to it often. Now I KNOW that we won't or can't do all/most of them, but it's nice to dream all the same (helloooooooo, nice big wood cook stove from Lehman's).

*I threaten the screamers with a creature called the "bow monster". I'm not sure what he is, what he looks like, what he smells like or if he is really even that scary. I just know that the "bow monster" doesn't like little boys that jump on Mommy's bed. It works. I simply say "booowwwww mooooonsteeeer" and they stop. It's kinda Pavlovian.

*I read the same books over and over. Yes, new ones do get added to the repertoire but to me a good book is like a good movie. I may be able to recite passages word for word and yet it still holds a weird fascination for me.

*I have owned "The Dark Half" by Stephen King for years, but have never read past the first chapter. I don't know why, the book gives me the willies, I just can't make myself read it. Now "IT" doesn't bug me in the least, never has. I know, I'm a freak.

*I simply cannot abide it when friends/relatives quote me total misinformation (aka "the world is flat"). It rubs me wrong in so many ways. I know they are wrong. I tell them so. I give them the proof they need. Then I tell them to read a book/use the net/grow a brain before they start flapping the pie hole again. (Really, I'm not a total b***h, I just have a few raw nerves concerning stupid people)

*I stay up way too late, get up way too early and take a nap with the screamers. Oldest screamer is beginning to have independent thoughts that naps are not cool. These are thoughts that must be crushed. Like a bug. How will I get by with no nap? Do the dishes you say! Pa-shaw, I say.

*My brain works on logic, science and facts. I find religion on a whole a difficult thing to grasp. It is highly illogical. I go to church...heck, I was saved and baptized as a youngster. Then I got older, experienced the world and life (and logic). I don't deny that there is a higher power, sentient or not (whatever floats your boat), I just have extreme difficulty with each religions' absolute belief that they are THE one true religion (further fraction this down to each branch of Christianity). Have you personally met G*d? Did she tell you which was right? Did she tell you what happened to all the millions of people that died and are dying before the "right" religion came along or was accepted? I hate to think that my previous life worshipping a pagan idol was wasted.

*I like to be glib. It's fun. It's hilarious to see the looks on peoples' faces while they are trying to work out whether or not you were serious in your statements. Read the above quirk again while looking in the mirror. You'll see what I mean.

Hope you enjoyed a look into my rather twisted brain. I also hope it gave you something to smile about, since those times will be few and far between I fear this spring.

Hold your loved ones close, gift with love and enjoy the Holidays!