Currently, I'm chatting with a friend...brother of the childhood friend that drowned on April 21st. Her body was finally recovered on the 2nd and they are headed today to make final arrangements. There seems to be a sort of power struggle going on as to what should be done and what certain other family members want done. Childhood Friend (hereafter known as CF) was unemployed and without any form of life insurance at the time of her passing...so the financial burden of final expenses falls to her family. Her 'husband' (they were legally married, I just personally do not think highly of him and haven't since high school) is most likely also unemployed (I do not know this for sure but that tends to be his boon in life) and has little to no money to help.
I'm baffled (but not really) at the idea the family is fighting over arrangements (I'm sure some are wanting to go to the excess end while others are attempting to be practical yet still grieve in a proper Southern fashion).
Here's the philosophical:
She's not there, here, etc. The final arrangements are for family and show.
Here's the practical:
Keep it affordable. There are debts involved that shouldn't but probably will fall to her children...who are just starting out in life.
The family has set up a memorial fund to try to get some help with the expense, of course. And I'm sure that if even half the people that new CF donated even just a little that a very nice service could be had. However, CF's brother knows that the reins need to be taken now in an effort to make sure that things stay in control. I feel for him...I most honestly do.
All of this has prompted us (me and Tanker) to review our own plans and, knowing what I know from Dad's funeral (i.e. cost), up both of our life insurance policies. The point of having them is to insure that our expenses would be paid, debt (that isn't cancelled out by death) be paid and our children have at least a little something monetarily to start out on should we pass before they are of age (hellooooo trust fund). While it shouldn't matter (the money) we all know it does. The very least we can do is leave the screamers with less shaky ground to stand on financially. And a bit of positive in a time of not so positive.
Because in the end, none of it is for you...but it is about what you leave behind.
I'm baffled (but not really) at the idea the family is fighting over arrangements (I'm sure some are wanting to go to the excess end while others are attempting to be practical yet still grieve in a proper Southern fashion).
Here's the philosophical:
She's not there, here, etc. The final arrangements are for family and show.
Here's the practical:
Keep it affordable. There are debts involved that shouldn't but probably will fall to her children...who are just starting out in life.
The family has set up a memorial fund to try to get some help with the expense, of course. And I'm sure that if even half the people that new CF donated even just a little that a very nice service could be had. However, CF's brother knows that the reins need to be taken now in an effort to make sure that things stay in control. I feel for him...I most honestly do.
All of this has prompted us (me and Tanker) to review our own plans and, knowing what I know from Dad's funeral (i.e. cost), up both of our life insurance policies. The point of having them is to insure that our expenses would be paid, debt (that isn't cancelled out by death) be paid and our children have at least a little something monetarily to start out on should we pass before they are of age (hellooooo trust fund). While it shouldn't matter (the money) we all know it does. The very least we can do is leave the screamers with less shaky ground to stand on financially. And a bit of positive in a time of not so positive.
Because in the end, none of it is for you...but it is about what you leave behind.
(the History geek in me can't wait to read this one)
(the procrastinator in me needs this one)
(I've had this one since November and love it)
