Monday, July 16, 2012

Better. Sort Of.

Tanker is more human since realizing that I was right (16 years married and he still hasn't figured out that I'm right 98% of the time) and started some self-helpish stuff.  I'm good with that.  Plus I pointed out that we only have 6 weeks (or so) left living On Post and he perked right up.  Back to planning his garden and outbuildings he has gone.

The Sort Of part is this:  I'm suffering from a pretty rough bout of De Quervain's Tendinitis.  Damn it hurts.  Makes working at McD's living hell.  I can type one handed pretty well; fine motor stuff or lifting/gripping with the right hand...not so much.  I have the feeling it's going to come down to deciding on work or health.  Health will win hands down (no pun intended).  We can make it by (now that the pay issue crap is straightened out) without me working but I've kinda gotten used to having an outside the home job now.  So I continue to look for something else...something more worthwhile (money and gas wise) than the 30 minute drive from the new place to McD's for $7.25 an hour.  So not worth it.

Our little "garden" in the "yard" ( 5 plants count as a garden?) is producing nicely at the moment...pulled out the first cucumber and the kids when nuts.  You'd have thought it was made of gold, honest.  Going to let things keep going as long as they can then let them go to seed so we can gather up and save those precious heirlooms before "returning the yard to the condition it was received in"...aka WEEDS.

Off to ice the's feeling a bit dodgy at the moment.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

What Is This!?! (x-post)

Depression, PTSD?

I don't know...the "symptoms" are so similar.  I don't know.

Tanker is not himself 90% of the time.  Crowded places were never really his thing but he used to be able to tolerate them...not any more.  He was the look at the bright side kind of guy once...not any more.  He's sharper now, more easily irritated.  He jumps on the kids quicker, is intolerant of loud noises, more withdrawn.  He's tired but can't sleep...the pain is worse on days when he's most withdrawn.

It isn't to the point where I worry about him and the kids when I go to work, but I do worry about him period.  He seems so hopeless now, so uninterested in things and life in general.

I brought up all of this the other day and he just gave me a blank look.  He doesn't really even notice, I think.

What is THIS!?!
The true danger is when liberty is nibbled away, for expedience, and by parts. --Edmund Burke