on the path to self betterment. Part of the getting to like me again plan (see Scary Stuff) is to actually DO something. It is the biggest part actually.
I should give you some background I suppose. I didn't finish college, instead I fell in lust (which eventually grew to love, which eventually...well, once again see Scary Stuff) and got married. A two income salary was required for all of our foolish young ambitions, so I dropped school. I was a photojournalism major...I know, not REALLY a job, lol. I've always regretted not finishing, but haven't had the means to do so. Still don't.
Here is my solution to my predicament:
Free Online Course Materials from MIT -- from Aeronautics and Astronautics to Writing and Humanistic Studies. You pick it, you learn it. I'm going to get the ideal education for me (eclectic and pretty darn complete from the looks of it) for nada. Sure, no degree to hang on the wall but honestly with all the screamer pics and art I don't have the room. Going to supplement with Berkeley Webcasts too. A high dollar education on things I've always wanted to know about for nothing but the cost of time and paper. Not too bad.
The other big UGH! in my life at the moment is that I know that I am not where I want to be physically. I haven't made one iota of effort to lose the baby weight from youngest screamer. It's going on 3 years since he was born. The time is now. The plan is this. I enjoy running, plus this will give me some of that "me" time I NEED. Gonna also be doing my good ol' yoga to keep the rest of the self toned.
Nowhere near being resolutions folks, I don't make those anymore. These are flat out decisions. They aren't for anyone (ie not aiming to please) but me.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
NOT prepared update
Still scary but after a nice long talk, keeping things polite as little ears still hear even from upstairs, the spouse and I got it all out there.
Seems I'm not the only one. He's been a little out of it for a few weeks, thinking many of the same things (I so won't go into detail). So, we're gonna work on it. He has issues about himself to work out just like me. Generally when we are happy with us, we are happy with each other. That's the plan Stan!
Thanks to all that commented earlier, I felt way more calm going into the "we gotta talk" conversation then I would have. I'm already in a better place than I was a few hours ago. Amazing how a heart to heart will do that.
I know everything isn't solved, but at least there is a starting off point now.
Seems I'm not the only one. He's been a little out of it for a few weeks, thinking many of the same things (I so won't go into detail). So, we're gonna work on it. He has issues about himself to work out just like me. Generally when we are happy with us, we are happy with each other. That's the plan Stan!
Thanks to all that commented earlier, I felt way more calm going into the "we gotta talk" conversation then I would have. I'm already in a better place than I was a few hours ago. Amazing how a heart to heart will do that.
I know everything isn't solved, but at least there is a starting off point now.
I am NOT prepared for this...
Ready for a roller coaster ride? Not political, not economical...if fact it impacts just me and mine.
My own personal SHTF for real. Seems I'm in the midst of a mental/emotional snap. Mid-life crisis at 31? Guess so.
Anyway, my time on here may get even more sporadic, but then again could get even more often. You'll likely have to put up with some seriously scary posts, I'll try to warn you. Point is I'm struggling and I'm not prepared for it. It was completely out of the blue, hit me from literally nowhere. Like a little pop in my brain.
Now I get to explain that pop to the spouse. Should be interesting to say the least. Suffice it to say, I'll be needing good thoughts, positive vibes and lots of prayers to see that I come out better in the end.
This scares me more than anything else out there, honestly.
My own personal SHTF for real. Seems I'm in the midst of a mental/emotional snap. Mid-life crisis at 31? Guess so.
Anyway, my time on here may get even more sporadic, but then again could get even more often. You'll likely have to put up with some seriously scary posts, I'll try to warn you. Point is I'm struggling and I'm not prepared for it. It was completely out of the blue, hit me from literally nowhere. Like a little pop in my brain.
Now I get to explain that pop to the spouse. Should be interesting to say the least. Suffice it to say, I'll be needing good thoughts, positive vibes and lots of prayers to see that I come out better in the end.
This scares me more than anything else out there, honestly.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Have I told you...
about my ferocious appetite for books? I'm sure I've mentioned it in passing, but not at length. I've decided that it's important for me to share this, as books are my passion (knitting falls in secondary to them)...my favorite thing (other than family of course) in the world. It's important for me to share this for two reasons:
1.) It will explain my online absence since Christmas Eve
2.) The passion of reading is a sanity saver when there is nothing else to do
Naturally point #2 can/does apply a bit to prepping, there will be things that you need to save your sanity. So that justifies my obsessively large reading selection in a way that most people don't think of.
Point #1 was brought about by a simple, single book purchase that the spouse made. He doesn't read anywhere near as much as I do and it is VERY rare for us to share the same taste of books. I love just about anything classic (though Wuthering Heights does bore me to tears and I've not cracked open War and Peace in a gazillion years), pretty much all of Anne Rice's work (specifically the Mayfair Saga and the Vampire Chronicles), the Harry Potter series, anything remotely Shannara related by Terry Brooks, the EC series by J. Auel and the more recent acquisitions (see further on in the post) to the household. The only true book passions the spouse and I share are Stephen King, Harry Potter and the newest members of our little library. He is more of Dean Kootz kinda guy for the most part. We have an obscene number of books.
The reason I gave the above information is to show the pretty extreme differences in our reading (well, my reading, lol) and that there is very little that we share as reading passion. Until recently. The latest series added to our library thoroughly entranced both of us. The spouse used his holiday gift from the in-laws to buy a book that has been impossible to get at the local library (a leap for him since he usually does the library thing first). I've had an aversion to the series because it has a massive teenage following (have you guessed yet) or we would have bought the first book sooner. The spouse devoured it (rare, very rare for him) and insisted I read it.
Let us push on to say, I am now hooked. My absence for the past four days is because I've been wrapped up in the Twilight Saga. Yep, it grabbed me. So much so that the spouse decided he would treat me to the remaining three books. He brought the last two home on Friday evening. I handed back to him the last of the series this morning (Saturday), finished. Obsessive, completely sucked in...I could NOT sleep until I was done. And now I'm ready to start the whole series all over again.
It is not rare for me to do that with a new book, but 4 is definitely something new. I don't know what possessed me, other than it really is a good series. Perhaps because it's been forever since we've gotten a new book. Maybe it's because I desperately needed a break from the "real" world. I've not looked at the news (either online or on TV) since the first book hit my hands. The break has been refreshing in the sense that I spent a few days in a mindless, numb state that didn't make me feel there was something that I needed to do NOW. I had a vacation from the panic, anger and fear that the news sometimes floods me with.
My only problem now is that I've torn through the new books and am stuck with re-reading my favorites until the spouse finishes. Not a big problem really but what I really WANT to do is read beginning to end, one after another with no waiting. Finish one, start the next. That is my most favorite way to read a series.
So I patiently wait, another week or so, for the spouse to finish (I have mentioned that reading is troublesome for him, that will explain the time). I think I'll spend the next week reading over something slightly more relevant to prepping just give my brain a fantasy break. Guess it's going to be Square Foot Gardening this week, not that it will keep me away as fiercely....I'll still be around to ramble at you!
1.) It will explain my online absence since Christmas Eve
2.) The passion of reading is a sanity saver when there is nothing else to do
Naturally point #2 can/does apply a bit to prepping, there will be things that you need to save your sanity. So that justifies my obsessively large reading selection in a way that most people don't think of.
Point #1 was brought about by a simple, single book purchase that the spouse made. He doesn't read anywhere near as much as I do and it is VERY rare for us to share the same taste of books. I love just about anything classic (though Wuthering Heights does bore me to tears and I've not cracked open War and Peace in a gazillion years), pretty much all of Anne Rice's work (specifically the Mayfair Saga and the Vampire Chronicles), the Harry Potter series, anything remotely Shannara related by Terry Brooks, the EC series by J. Auel and the more recent acquisitions (see further on in the post) to the household. The only true book passions the spouse and I share are Stephen King, Harry Potter and the newest members of our little library. He is more of Dean Kootz kinda guy for the most part. We have an obscene number of books.
The reason I gave the above information is to show the pretty extreme differences in our reading (well, my reading, lol) and that there is very little that we share as reading passion. Until recently. The latest series added to our library thoroughly entranced both of us. The spouse used his holiday gift from the in-laws to buy a book that has been impossible to get at the local library (a leap for him since he usually does the library thing first). I've had an aversion to the series because it has a massive teenage following (have you guessed yet) or we would have bought the first book sooner. The spouse devoured it (rare, very rare for him) and insisted I read it.
Let us push on to say, I am now hooked. My absence for the past four days is because I've been wrapped up in the Twilight Saga. Yep, it grabbed me. So much so that the spouse decided he would treat me to the remaining three books. He brought the last two home on Friday evening. I handed back to him the last of the series this morning (Saturday), finished. Obsessive, completely sucked in...I could NOT sleep until I was done. And now I'm ready to start the whole series all over again.
It is not rare for me to do that with a new book, but 4 is definitely something new. I don't know what possessed me, other than it really is a good series. Perhaps because it's been forever since we've gotten a new book. Maybe it's because I desperately needed a break from the "real" world. I've not looked at the news (either online or on TV) since the first book hit my hands. The break has been refreshing in the sense that I spent a few days in a mindless, numb state that didn't make me feel there was something that I needed to do NOW. I had a vacation from the panic, anger and fear that the news sometimes floods me with.
My only problem now is that I've torn through the new books and am stuck with re-reading my favorites until the spouse finishes. Not a big problem really but what I really WANT to do is read beginning to end, one after another with no waiting. Finish one, start the next. That is my most favorite way to read a series.
So I patiently wait, another week or so, for the spouse to finish (I have mentioned that reading is troublesome for him, that will explain the time). I think I'll spend the next week reading over something slightly more relevant to prepping just give my brain a fantasy break. Guess it's going to be Square Foot Gardening this week, not that it will keep me away as fiercely....I'll still be around to ramble at you!
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