Call Me Cicada....(layin' a little Zodiac on ya)

I had an epiphany today. I run in seven year cycles. Right near the six or seven year mark, for the past 21 years (hey, I try to forget the first 11), I get this crazy thing going on. I don't know why...it's cyclic.

Age 11: Massive life changing year for me. My niece was born and I lost my much coveted title of 'baby of the family'. This was the year I discovered attitude and opinion...I have yet to abandon either, btw. This was the year that my buddy, Ben, and myself began to venture out into 'the woods' on our own (which may not seem big to some but to us it was). This was also the year that my first best friend ever moved away, forcing me to branch out. Boys became a whole new obsession. A big year for a little person.

Age 18: Graduation and the loss of my dear Pa (Grandpa) marked this year. Before that though I spent the early part of the year doing what 18 year old girls do best...partying, playing the field and being all around annoying (I know I was thank you very much). After graduation and the loss of Pa a week later, I came to MO to spend the summer with Grandma. I didn't want to go back to KY for college (I was in looooovvvveee), but Mom pitched a huge fit and I went against my own wishes. Less than six months later I was engaged...why? I wanted away, plain and simple. Being young and dumb (see Mrs. Hines...you were right) I thought 'consequences be damned' and married the spousal unit anyway. Can I add in here that I was healing from my first real heartbreak when I met the spousal unit? Not the most brilliant of times to start a new relationship.

Age 25: Hello US Army...military spouse time, highly educational. You should try it sometime. I had the choice this year to walk away from my marriage, almost did if you want the truth, but decided to stay and became a mom the next year.

Age 32 (present day): bad relationship juju strikes again, only now I'm older and slightly wiser. Melt down leads to frank discussion and a choice for both of us. He knows that I expect better than what he had been giving. This year is going to be harder than it started out. He hasn't laid out what he wants, other than for me to be happy (how cliche). I know he wants in...more emotion than I can show, more than I can give 'cause frankly it isn't there. I am emotionally stunted. So begins another cycle...but I've learned and I'm working through.


Have you ever read the description of an Aquarius? It's like they (whoever they are) wrote down me. There I sit on the screen or piece of paper. The passion for life but cool detachment of emotion. I know this, I've always (ALWAYS) been like this. Self-centered, eccentric...disliking being stuck in one place and senseless show of emotion.

Mom calls me her alien child. She doesn't know how right she is. My brother and sister are also the epitome of their signs (Scorpio and Virgo). Our house was one of chaos if left to deal with each other growing up...we are too different. Age has mellowed us however and though we still are what we are...we don't body slam each other in the front yard during arguments anymore (ahem...that was me getting body slammed btw). My sister worries about me, because of my flighty ways and non-emotional thinking. She, being a Virgo, is fiercely devoted to her spouse because she is irrevocably in love with him...it is her nature. My desire to run and be away from the emotional neediness of mine (who is a true Capricorn) scares her. Mom (a Cancer) is also shocked by this.

So the six/seven year cycle begins again. I look at where I am and as usual see a desire to be elsewhere. This is how it always starts. This time it is more complicated (there are little people involved now...no not leprechauns) and I'm more realistic than I've been in many years. I know that the marketable skills I have do not outmaneuver the hundreds of thousands that have the same or better skills, therefore I have no real means to support myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not above slinging burgers (did that for years) or waiting tables...I don't mind dirty work (hey...don't let your mind wander there)...but soon enough there will be much more competition. I hold no degree, but I'm tenacious.

This puts me in that scary position of 'what do/will I do'...I look at it and say 'what you want to do'. No so much 6/7 years ago, that would have been a freak out question then. Now, I shrug and add it to the list of tasks to conquer. I'm slowly evolving, taking things a bit more lightly (not everything, just some) and learning to roll with life. I plan, I prepare...but lately, I've become more and more determined to live and enjoy this life for what it is. I have a lesson to be learned, a truth to be gained or a secret to discover in this go around. There is a knowledge out there that I am suppose to acquire for the next go around. I haven't done it yet...but I will!

P.S. I drowned a spider the size of a mouse today in soapy dish water. Damn thing came out of nowhere, jumping on my arm when I stuck my hand in the sink. Under normal circumstances I would have allowed the poor eight legged freak to live, putting him outside. BUT the massive idiot jumped on my f'ing arm while I was sticking my hands into water and scared the bejesus out of me...it had to die. Of course, I then had to fish the soggy freak out of the water and start all over with the dishes. Friggin' thing was HUGE, all spread out in it's dead wet state it covered my palm. Just thought I'd share.

Can this be an "I told you so"?

Not in so many words, as I really didn't do a direct say of "He will take over the auto industry", but well....I told you so. Call it what you want: socialism, facism, corporatism, communism, etc. It's here.

Please tell me you've read some of these today, at least the headlines.

From the WSJ...'Detroit's Fate Sealed': "They also set a deadline -- one month for Chrysler, two months for GM -- after which the government might force a bankruptcy restructuring of both companies and break up two of America's business icons."


An excellent entry over at Powerline: "Unfortunately, however, today's power grab is only one of several fronts on which President Obama appears determined to extend the long arm of government into American business, and American life generally. How far he will succeed in doing so, and at what point the American people will rebel, are shaping up as the key questions to be answered over the coming months and years."

And the coups de gras for me (Dad is a GM retiree, btw) also from th WSJ: "But the union leader who represents GM workers warned if the auto makers step back from their obligations to retired workers, the remaining cost of their health care will not simply go away. "Someone is going to have to pay for health care," Mr. Jordan said. "If it's not the companies, it's going to be the taxpayers in some way, shape or form." (probably the most honest quote I've heard from a Union guy in a long time)

I really don't have much else to say on this other than: If you've hanging out on the fence trying to decide whether or not this nutty chick has a point behind all of the "stock up and be ready" talk, this should really honestly be the tiny push you need to fall on over to the darkside with me. The banks are falling in line somewhat quietly, the veterans are looking at being screwed even harder, the economy is slowly (not as slowly as before though) folding like an origami swan and now...now the most public move at control has been made. Come on over, there is a whole network of us ready to hold your hand and show you the way...plus, we have cookies.

House Keeping and a Confession

Cleaned up the blog a little bit. Got rid of the Ping (it was eating up bandwidth and slowing down the blog...for me at least) but added a Twitter thingie. Which leads to the confession.

I am a tech junkie. I am utterly, unabashedly addicted to cool techno gadgets. This could be a problem. Probably is a problem. It's moot to say that I don't spend money on them, ya'll know I don't have a ton of cash floating around, but I have to say I'd love to. I'd love to have a rockin' cell that I could access the net from with all the cool little apps to connect me to my favorite online spots. Alas, it is definitely not in the budget.

So I suffer with my little online based fun and my pre-paid cell that lets me text updates to Twitter. This is a good thing really. Especially for May. 'Cause then you can go on my trekking trip with me if you want. Yes, my friends, I will Tweet all the fun I'm having (or not having) while I'm away. Short little updates like "I'm still alive" or "help, bear attack"...you know, the little things that make a solo trip fun.

There you have it...a confessed obsession with everything wrong with the world. I should feel dirty, but I don't! ;P

A Little Help?

After days of isolation (okay, one day) due to a slight modem malfunction (I fried it, alright), I am happily back online using a piece of ancient technology. It works...I won't bitch too much.

Anyway, the help part. I need guinea pigs...a few of you new, old and in between preppers...to help me out with some research for an article. No real names will be used, unless you want the to be used. I'll tack a list of questions below, you answer and EMAIL them to me HERE.

You'll get the gist of the article when you see the questions...trying to shed a better light on 'our sort' for those that don't really know what it's really about. I can do it as is, but I'd love to have some points from folks other than me ('specially since I'm way to opinionated and fairly new at this prepping in the bigger sense of the word).

Wanna help?

Questions:

1. What drew you to this lifestyle?
2. How did you start?
3. What is the number one piece of advice you would give a new 'prepper'?
4. Name three websites that you would recommend for those truly interested in learning about prepping.

Thanks to any and all that do this...oh and don't forget to let me know if you want to be quoted with your name or what! Feel free to throw in anything that you think is relevant too.