One Step Forward....

well, you know the rest.

Been scrambling hard to pull together the fundage to get into the new place thanks to the whole "hey, we overpaid you and we're taking it back now" thing.  Add to that stressor the landlady implying that she'd be more than happy if we backed out because she's "had several offers" on the place.  Um, you have a good faith deposit...why was it still listed?

Throw into the mix that Tanker pretty well acknowledged yesterday having PTSD but not wanting to do anything about it right now as it will set his MEB back...but he told his 1st Line (the SGT that is "in charge" of him who just so happens to be a Medic by trade) that he just wanted to be left alone and not be required to do the fun day things that they have the WTU do because he just doesn't like people anymore and crowds contain people.  Way to throw up a red flag...but honestly, I do hope they have him see someone even if it delays the paperwork.  I can't make him, but they can.  He's a sensitive (not that way), easy to stress guy and I've been privy to only a few things he experienced downrange...very little of it good.  I know it's affecting him more than he let's on.  Especially when he's said quite a few times lately that he's glad the eldest screamer is deaf and the youngest screamer's eyesight isn't the greatest because it means they are/will likely be exempt from service.  Definitely not the same Hooah guy he was pre-deployment.

On a lighter note...this upcoming move is letting me get a better idea of things to keep, things to sell and things to just toss.  I do have to point out however that we Americans love walls...even when they are useless and take away from the living space in the house.  That's one thing I miss about the place in Germany...walls had a purpose and weren't merely there to be there.

And now I leave you...gotta get some acceptable clothing on and make a run to UPS and the Post Office...these boxes won't mail themselves!!

Not Liking Humanity Too Much...

at the moment.  Nothing specific really, just a whole lot of little things.  (Warning:  rambling randomness to follow.)

Sheeple; I see them on a daily basis at work.  You want to know how bad America's obsession with fast food is?  Go work at McD's for a month. I've been there about 2 months and know several patrons by name...what they will order...breakfast, lunch, dinner.  It's sad and pathetic.  Switched over to overnights recently and have been dealing with a whole different breed of stupidity.  Drunken fools.  Even more sad and pathetic.

Thankfully the day is rapidly approaching that will be my farewell to McD's.  School for me starts on the 20th, clinical hours start sometime around the end of September/beginning of October...that mean buh-bye to the fast food world (hopefully for good).  No way I'll be attempting clinicals and overnights...plus the 45 minute drive in to make $7.25 an hour (21 or so hours a week) is not worth it.  Not with the lovely price jump in gas the past week or so.

Still set to start the moving off-post process in September...screamers will be starting in the new school next week; which means a 30 minute drive both ways for me but with eldest screamer's special "he's deaf" stuff I'd rather them start the year off at the school they'll be in the whole time.  That drive I don't mind and it's only for a little bit.

Tanker starts class on the 20th as well; not the classes he wanted but he's being ordered to either take classes OR get a part-time job (for which he would not get paid).  The small arms repair internship fell through because of some shady hiring practices going on around post....imagine that, a dirty government agency.

Alas, I shall abandon you with the random ramblings above...my tired eyes require more coffee and I just feel the need to curl up with a good book and ignore the world right now.

Better. Sort Of.

Tanker is more human since realizing that I was right (16 years married and he still hasn't figured out that I'm right 98% of the time) and started some self-helpish stuff.  I'm good with that.  Plus I pointed out that we only have 6 weeks (or so) left living On Post and he perked right up.  Back to planning his garden and outbuildings he has gone.

The Sort Of part is this:  I'm suffering from a pretty rough bout of De Quervain's Tendinitis.  Damn it hurts.  Makes working at McD's living hell.  I can type one handed pretty well; fine motor stuff or lifting/gripping with the right hand...not so much.  I have the feeling it's going to come down to deciding on work or health.  Health will win hands down (no pun intended).  We can make it by (now that the pay issue crap is straightened out) without me working but I've kinda gotten used to having an outside the home job now.  So I continue to look for something else...something more worthwhile (money and gas wise) than the 30 minute drive from the new place to McD's for $7.25 an hour.  So not worth it.

Our little "garden" in the "yard" (seriously...do 5 plants count as a garden?) is producing nicely at the moment...pulled out the first cucumber and the kids when nuts.  You'd have thought it was made of gold, honest.  Going to let things keep going as long as they can then let them go to seed so we can gather up and save those precious heirlooms before "returning the yard to the condition it was received in"...aka WEEDS.

Off to ice the wrist...it's feeling a bit dodgy at the moment.

What Is This!?! (x-post)

Depression, PTSD?

I don't know...the "symptoms" are so similar.  I don't know.

Tanker is not himself 90% of the time.  Crowded places were never really his thing but he used to be able to tolerate them...not any more.  He was the look at the bright side kind of guy once...not any more.  He's sharper now, more easily irritated.  He jumps on the kids quicker, is intolerant of loud noises, more withdrawn.  He's tired but can't sleep...the pain is worse on days when he's most withdrawn.

It isn't to the point where I worry about him and the kids when I go to work, but I do worry about him period.  He seems so hopeless now, so uninterested in things and life in general.

I brought up all of this the other day and he just gave me a blank look.  He doesn't really even notice, I think.

What is THIS!?!