Everything Else in the World...

is too big for a quick post...so I've chosen one, highly annoying and mind boggling, thing.

History, ladies and gentlemen, is written by the winners, right?

Looks like someone thinks they've won.

^Out of Texas.^

I'm just flabbergasted.

The Past Month...

has been a lesson in what's really important and preparedness.

Losing Dad was...not devastating.  I know...weird, right?

You see, I've been preparing for it since December.  Survival rates of SCLC patients can't/shouldn't really be called survival rates...more of  "it's possible that you might make it this long" rate.  There is no survival...it takes you eventually.  End of story.

So the past month has been more of a helping others deal with it (screamers...particularly the eldest...have been strongly affected.  They adored their Pawpaw.), helping Mom go through years of hording (more of that to come later this month) and finding a "new normal."  Fighting the urge to call Dad and tell him about the hilariousness that is our house, seeing something online and thinking "I should tell Dad about that" and, today's challenge, getting his FB pages (yeah, he had two...lol) set to memorial.  New normal.  I don't like it.

But it's not my job to like it.

The past month has also brought about massive changes to our lifestyle...huge.

Smoking is done...the particular brand of SCLC that Dad had has never been found in non-smokers...and just his having it moves my chances of having it WAY on up there.  No thanks.  Quitting with the tobacco will take the risk down a bit.

Dietary changes...we had fallen into the horrible habit of convenience foods again.  Eating junk and feeling like crap.  No more.  We're back on track with food and dropping weight again.

Fitness changes...we take the screamers and four-legged fiends on nightly walks now.  Anywhere from a mile to 2 on steep, hilly terrain.  We'll do that for a few more months, adding length to the walks and eventually tossing packs on our backs too.

Time changes...there is considerably less time spent online, watching TV and playing video games.  We're spending time with each other, reading and, STILL, unpacking.  We're planning for next Summer and trips we intend to take, this Fall's camping expeditions and a mess of other things.

We're redoing our wills, looking at doing the whole pre-arrangement thing and redoing that lovely paperwork organization so that finding anything of vital importance will be as easy as opening a drawer.  Basic things that pretty much everyone I know just tends to put off and not worry about.

It's been a month of changes...

Heartbroke...

My daddy passed on earlier today.

I'm thankful for the time we had with him after the cancer diagnosis...and will miss him terribly.

Interesting....

Tanker surprised me the other day by saying he was happy that I was happy about the move.  I asked him why....

T~ "Because I was worried you'd be sad to leave."
Me~ "Missouri?  Why would you think that?"
T~ "This is your home."
Me~ "Um, babe...we moved to KY when I was 4.  I was gone from MO for 23 years...it's where we visited.  Not where we lived."
T~ "I still thought you'd be sad."
Me~ "Not really.  It'll still be here.  Growing rocks and all."

To be honest, though we've tried to settle in and make it a place to live, we haven't.  We've not tried hard to make it home...probably because somewhere, deep down, we knew that we'd go back to KY someday.

Thankfully the screamers take after me and have very few issues settling in somewhere and making friends (though there is an initial shy period in both...a gift from their father).  They get the 'take me as I am' part from me which does tend to make them a little strange to other kiddos at first but they get along alright in the end.

Tanker has psyched himself up for school, which is good...he's tired of not being able to work.  It's a different kind of drag from not being able to FIND a job, this whole being told he CAN'T have a job because he doesn't have training in a field that is not incredibly physical.  Hence the going back to school part.  Don't get me wrong...he'd LOVE to have a physical job; his body doesn't particularly care for the idea.  And since he's already been told by the VA here that they won't do anything for his back until he's at least 50 (he's apparently too young...whatevs; like it's going to get any better on it's own over the next 13 years he'd be waiting) he's hoping that the VA down there will be more, um, helpful.

Me, I'm going to attempt to find something work-wise and then go back to school next spring.  Hopping into the medical field that my family so loves and I've avoided as much as possible.  Inevitable.  But it's okay...I've found a field of study that I'm interested in.  Unfortunately, it's expensive...so first a less expensive bit of training that will let me work at least.  All goes well and I'll be done with the first bit in a year.

As it is now, we are living life in boxes (literally) and are eagerly awaiting next Wednesday morning (as early as possible) when we begin the trek back to the Bluegrass State.  I don't relish the drive trapped in a Durango with 2 boys, 2 cats, 2 rabbits (gifts), an English Cocker with separation anxiety and a Boxer....but I'll manage.  Though Tanker may end up with an animal or two joining him in the moving truck.